Yesterday I made the comment that Jacob was carrying more emotional and relational baggage than a Boeing 747. Today we build on that image ~
When you examine
and explore the “we” inside every “me”, the relationships that can define you (and
sometimes feel like they confine you), we are trudging through emotional
territory. Perhaps over the last few weeks you have felt a surge or swirl of feelings. I felt moments of nostalgic joy when
preaching about my friend, Jeff. Other
times, I felt clouds of anger when naming some of the people whose words
wounded me. I have been reminded that
humans are capable of great care as well as hurt and harm. Sometimes the words we hear from another
cause our hearts, like the Grinch, to grow three sizes; other times people hide
knifes in their comments that cause a thousand paper cuts to our souls.
On the most basic
level emotions are energy in motion (e-motion).
Feelings fuel and feed us in a certain direction. When we are angry, we can lash out at others,
passing along the pain. When we are
lonely or hurt, our shy souls may curl up in a ball in the corner inside and we
not have the energy to go anywhere or do anything. Just as we memorized multiplications tables
in schools, so many of us internalized messages about emotions. I grew up hearing that some emotions are
good. For example I was told it was
good, desirable, to be happy. Other
emotions not so good, I am glaring at you, grumpy or mopey. You may have been taught or caught that you
have to push down or ignore your feelings.
You may have been told by your mother, “We don’t talk about that
in polite company.” I can remember being
told that, “Big boys don’t cry.” As a
culture we tend to overemphasize thoughts (even as brain research tells us that
our memories are often not as reliable as we’ve been led to believe). We deemphasize emotions as being
untrustworthy. The bottom line is, as
Susan David says, “Emotions are data not directives.” Emotions point out what is important and our
deepest values.
Susan David gives
us a great exercise. Take out a piece of
paper and write down one emotion you are feeling right now.
You may be
feeling:
Tired ~ or Excited
~ or Anxious ~ or Angry ~ or Joy ~ or Surprise
Now, ask why
you are feeling that way:
Tired because you
were up last night composing a snappy comeback to a comment a person said.
Excited for a
lunch with a friend today.
Anxious about an
appointment or conversation.
Anger at a
headline you read.
Joy at the sound
of a bird singing or the taste of coffee.
Surprise that you have
all these emotions at the same time.
Now, ask why
again! Be curious and
willing to go deeper than skimming the surface with your emotions.
Tired that the
person who said that thing seem to grate and get under your skin.
Excited that your
lunch friend who you haven’t seen since COVID.
Anxious about what
the doctor might say.
Anger that the
polarization and hurtful things people say.
Joy that there is
beauty in the world too alongside the hurt.
Surprise that was
so many layers to emotions ~ like layers of paint in a home from the 1800s.
Today, pay
attention to the emotions, that is the energy in motion, where what your
feelings are guiding you and how your emotions are impacting your so-called
objective/neutral brain.
Prayer: God, You
craft and create us with a heart, heart, and soul, You invite us to love You
with our full selves. Help us today be
aware and awake to the emotions, the energy stirring within us. Help us find alignment with our thoughts,
feelings, and breath. Amen.