The Emotion of Me and We

 

Yesterday I made the comment that Jacob was carrying more emotional and relational baggage than a Boeing 747.   Today we build on that image ~

When you examine and explore the “we” inside every “me”, the relationships that can define you (and sometimes feel like they confine you), we are trudging through emotional territory. Perhaps over the last few weeks you have felt a surge or swirl of feelings.  I felt moments of nostalgic joy when preaching about my friend, Jeff.  Other times, I felt clouds of anger when naming some of the people whose words wounded me.  I have been reminded that humans are capable of great care as well as hurt and harm.  Sometimes the words we hear from another cause our hearts, like the Grinch, to grow three sizes; other times people hide knifes in their comments that cause a thousand paper cuts to our souls. 

 

On the most basic level emotions are energy in motion (e-motion).  Feelings fuel and feed us in a certain direction.  When we are angry, we can lash out at others, passing along the pain.  When we are lonely or hurt, our shy souls may curl up in a ball in the corner inside and we not have the energy to go anywhere or do anything.  Just as we memorized multiplications tables in schools, so many of us internalized messages about emotions.  I grew up hearing that some emotions are good.  For example I was told it was good, desirable, to be happy.  Other emotions not so good, I am glaring at you, grumpy or mopey.  You may have been taught or caught that you have to push down or ignore your feelings.  You may have been told by your mother, “We don’t talk about that in polite company.”  I can remember being told that, “Big boys don’t cry.”  As a culture we tend to overemphasize thoughts (even as brain research tells us that our memories are often not as reliable as we’ve been led to believe).  We deemphasize emotions as being untrustworthy.  The bottom line is, as Susan David says, “Emotions are data not directives.”  Emotions point out what is important and our deepest values.

 

Susan David gives us a great exercise.  Take out a piece of paper and write down one emotion you are feeling right now. 

 

You may be feeling:

Tired ~ or Excited ~ or Anxious ~ or Angry ~ or Joy ~ or Surprise

 

Now, ask why you are feeling that way:

Tired because you were up last night composing a snappy comeback to a comment a person said.

Excited for a lunch with a friend today.

Anxious about an appointment or conversation.

Anger at a headline you read.

Joy at the sound of a bird singing or the taste of coffee.

Surprise that you have all these emotions at the same time.

 

Now, ask why again!  Be curious and willing to go deeper than skimming the surface with your emotions.

 

Tired that the person who said that thing seem to grate and get under your skin.

Excited that your lunch friend who you haven’t seen since COVID.

Anxious about what the doctor might say.

Anger that the polarization and hurtful things people say.

Joy that there is beauty in the world too alongside the hurt.

Surprise that was so many layers to emotions ~ like layers of paint in a home from the 1800s.

 

Today, pay attention to the emotions, that is the energy in motion, where what your feelings are guiding you and how your emotions are impacting your so-called objective/neutral brain.

 

Prayer: God, You craft and create us with a heart, heart, and soul, You invite us to love You with our full selves.  Help us today be aware and awake to the emotions, the energy stirring within us.  Help us find alignment with our thoughts, feelings, and breath.  Amen.