God's Calling ~ Isaiah Part 5

 

Another month winds down and wraps up.  So does the Calling Sermon Series.  This coming Sunday in worship we will honor our Saints.  There is a great line in the hymn, I Sing a Song of the Saints of God, that goes, “And one was a doctor, and one was a queen, and one was a shepherdess on the green; they were all of them saints of God, and I mean, God help me to be one too.”

 

That is what our calling is all about.  Letting and lending our light to this world.  Opening our whole-created-in-God’s image self.  Finding our voice (remember vocation comes from the world voice) and sharing/singing/participating in the world today.

 

Look back with me at where we have been.  God’s call to Abraham and Sarah to leave behind the familiar; Moses to go back to the place he fled from; Jeremiah to preach to people who were hurting; Jonah to go to his sworn enemies.  Hannah praying her heartfelt prayer – we heard Isaiah doing that this week.  Samuel is befuddled by his call and Mary bravely, bolding embodying her call.  Taken together, God’s calling will disrupt any carefully constructed life we had.  God’s calling will upend, send us in new directions.  And…and God’s calling will draw out the Divine image, the Eternal energy within each of us to get caught up in God’s liberating love for the sake of the world God so loves. 

 

I hope you re-read that last sentence many times.  Responding to your calling is not all chocolate rivers and good times.  Rather, God’s calling will cause our hearts to sing in new ways we cannot rationally explain to others.  I believe your calling; my calling does change.  I believe your calling; my calling is never finished.  As long as we have the breath of God, God is moving us to be God’s presence in this moment.  I do believe your calling can go through seasons of growth and times of feeling dormant.  The calling persists and insists in a vast variety of ways.  Your calling may not meet expectations or be exactly what we want.  But, when we, like Isaiah can respond, “Here I am, send me,” God can work through that and through us.  When we say, “Here I am, send me,” we are inviting God to be the collaborator and co-author of our life.  I believe deep in my heart we need people to courageously, curiously, and faithfully say, “Here I am, send me,” now more than ever.  So may your calling find new ways of expression.  May your calling have moments of thriving and resting.  May your calling be willing to explore and experience new expressions.  May your calling follow the holy manna bread crumbs of God.  And may you find JOY…abiding joy… in living your calling in these days.  Amen.

God's Calling ~ Isaiah Part 4

 

As we continue to explore Isaiah’s calling as informing our calling, here is a question: How do you expect God to move in your life?  Yesterday, I invited you to go outside because that is where God moves in my life.  This does not need to be true for you.  Maybe you, like Isaiah, need to be at church or in a sacred space for God’s still speaking voice to get a word in edgewise.  Maybe for you, God tends to show up when you are with a certain family member or friend.  Or God meets you when you are at a particular coffee shop or out gardening. 

 

Can you rewind and review your life for where and when God tends to show up most consistently?

 

This can change over time.  We can go through a season where our morning coffee meditation on the lanai no longer nourishes us.  Or we go to a retreat center that we have been to for years and the feeling just isn’t the same.  But there are bread crumb clues the Holy leaves scattered around our lives ~ like an adult Easter egg hunt.  To be clear God doesn’t do this because God wants to frustrate us or trick us…God does this because the joy is in the discovery.

 

Wait you missed that point.

 

The joy is in the journey.  The joy is in the aha moments.  If God just texted you the five-year plan, even as good as that sounds right now, there might be a part of us that questions if it was really going to play out that way.  The joy is in the moment-by-moment unfurling/unfolding of our lives.  In the shifts and exit ramps and holy ways God is showing up in your life. 

 

Wherever and however you most consistently connect with the Divine, I encourage you to enter that Eternal presence – with your expectations and your fumbles and questions and hopefulness.  May you find joy, a sacred and life-giving joy, in such a moment today.  Alleluia and Amen.

God's Calling Isaiah ~ part three

 

This week we are holding open our hearts around our expectations as well as those moments when we feel like we are not measuring up.  I think this is especially hard in a climate that loves to blame and shame others.  We live in canyons of certainty that create echo chambers where social media feeds you more and more of what you “liked”.  Deep down we all have that Isaiah-like voice that is saying, “Well, this is another fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into!”

 

We live on shifting sand…internally and externally.

 

So did Isaiah.  A bit about the cultural climate of 500 B.C.E. when Isaiah’s calling took place.  The passage started off with the political power play book when it says, “In the year King Uzziah died.”  I know, what an uplifting start to a passage, but stay with me.  Uzziah was known as a good king.  This was a time of stability, for fifty years Uzziah had kept the enemies who wanted to invade Israel at the edge.  Now, the apple cart was overturned.  Now, everything seemed too fluid and influx and like you were standing on shifting sand.  People longed for stability, certainty, and reassurance that things would be okay. 

 

Suddenly, I don’t know if I am describing Isaiah’s day or today.  I am with them.  I understand why Isaiah went to the temple to pray.  I am like Isaiah wanting to sort out the storminess of my soul.  Then, when the holy hummed the hymn of praise and hovered around, Isaiah expresses this was not his expectation.  He tries to reason his way out.  Isaiah essentially says, “God that is so nice of you to think that I could do this.  But I am going take a pass right now, because if you haven’t noticed the world is a mess.  But let’s stay in touch.”  Isaiah felt overwhelmed by God’s call. 

 

You see, calling doesn’t always lead you beside still waters or restore your soul.  Sometimes your calling will feel like a blessing.  Other times, like say the last twenty months of ministry in the church, you will feel the full force of headwinds pushing against you and little to no tailwind giving you strength to steer.

 

I am with Isaiah.  I often feel overwhelmed by too many tragedies and traumas and hanging on by a thin thread that threatens to snap any second in our world right now.  Oh, I am with you, Isaiah. 

 

I love that the holy here isn’t pleasant and peaceful in this passage.  There is a haunting nature to the holy that goes and gets a hot coal.  The coal is burning and blazing, the angel needs a pair of tongs to touch Isaiah’s lips.  Ouch!  You might have missed that point.  The angel, God’s heavenly messenger can’t touch the coal, but it is okay to put that on Isaiah’s lips.  Are you kidding me?  And God seems to say, “Okay, Isaiah solved those unclean lips problem seems to be solved.”  I am going out on a limb to say, that probably was not Isaiah’s expectation when he confessed his concern.

 

So far this week I have invited you to:

1.     Name your expectations for

a.      Yourself

b.     Others in your close circle

c.      Church

d.     Country

2.     We have noticed that sometimes in our calling we feel like we are coming up short, don’t quite have all the skills necessary and needed.

3.     Now, today we add the layer that when we are unclear/uncertain in our calling ~ and the world around us is also like shifting sand…that is advanced level calling.  That is graduate level kind of calling. 

 

So breathe.  I promise you that just as God finds Isaiah in the murky, messiness of his life, so too God still does that today with you and me.  I invite you to go outside and listen to the wind rustling the trees and the wisdom of the world around you.  May you know that God’s presence and calling in your life is offering you the grace for this moment, this day, and that this is enough.  Amen.

God's Calling - Isaiah Take Two

 

This week we have gone with Isaiah across the threshold into the Temple, to sit in the pews and honestly name/notice our expectations.  I pray yesterday you spent time with your own expectations. I hope you read Isaiah 6 and I invite you to re-read the passage today, especially verse 5.    Here is the deeper (harder to comprehend truth), our expectations shift subtly and swiftly in our lives.  One day I can expect one thing from my family and the next day there might be something different I want/need/hope for.  To be sure, there are expectations that are constant.  But there is, like the wind swirling from different directions, changes that happen with the expectations we cart and carry around.

 

This can be difficult and demanding of us.  I love how Isaiah is honest and heartfelt at how overwhelmed he feels.  Inside the temple, after God’s robe filled the whole space, wrapping Isaiah in the warmth of a blanket-like hug.  After the choir anthem of angels singing, “Holy, holy, holy.”  Isaiah’s response in verse 5 is…

 

“Woe is me.  I am a man of unclean lips and I live among a people of unclean lips.” 

 

Ever felt that way?  I mean besides the days that end in “y”?

 

Those words are a powerful and profound today as they were when they first fell from Isaiah’s mouth.  I hear this response and they are so timely.  We swim in a sea of words that discounts and discriminates and create divisiveness.  Every day we consume (and I believe are consumed by) such negativity.  It is said today the options are you either double down or burn it down.  It isn’t just that compromise is no longer in fashion among any leader, it is that admitting mistakes is somehow a mortal sin.  Here is Isaiah wrapped in the Holy and his first response is not to feel his heart strangely warmed but to sense his own bumbling and stumbling shadow self.  He confesses his brokenness.  Is that ever our expectation? 

 

This is an important truth in our calling: we will at times feel a strong sense of imposture syndrome.  We might have this nagging, needling feeling like we are messing it up.  Sure we can put on a brave, bold face.  We can act capable, confident, and certain even when what we say doesn’t match what is happening.

 

I invite us today to push pause on this point.  How might the Holy be hovering and humming in your midst helping you name the ways you feel overwhelmed?  How can being in God’s presence enable and empower us to honestly wonder if that criticism someone just said might be truer than we want to admit?  Or how your criticism of another might be revealing a shadow side within your shy soul?

 

Isaiah was honest about his own inadequacy, perhaps part of calling is for us to do the same.  May this part of Scripture speak and sing to our hearts today knowing that you are loved not because you are perfectly polished and have “it” all put together.  You are loved.  Period.  God’s love is unconditional and unceasing.  God’s love is.  May that truth evoke and provoke your shy soul and whole life to open up.  Amen.

God's Calling Isaiah Take One

 

This week I want us to focus and frame our conversation on calling around the story in Isaiah 6.  This is ONE of my favorite stories in Scripture.  I encourage you to read Isaiah 6:1-9 (or the whole chapter.  But be forewarned that Isaiah’s first sermon is not what anyone who describe as, “Warming the cockles of my heart.”   It is certainly not the feel-good sermon of the century.)

 

Part of what I love about chapter 6 is I have always wondered, what was Isaiah expecting when he walked and waltzed into the Temple that day to pray?  What was running through his mind when he wandered into worship? 

 

We all carry expectations with us every day.  Expectations are like the wind in our sails.  Expectations are like the wind in that you cannot see them always, but they do guide you.  Try this experiment with me.  Have you ever watched a movie everyone was raving about, and your reaction was, “Well it was no Star Wars”?  Ever hear a song that moved someone else’s soul, and you couldn’t even understand the words?  Ever buy some food that your neighbor said was like tasting heaven while on earth, and you thought, “Um it tastes a bit like seaweed.” 

 

We all haul around our hopes, drag around our dreams, carry around a carton of expectations about all sorts of things in life.  Expectations are BOTH the wind in our sails and the headwinds we face.  Expectations can both push us forward and push against us. Some expectations give me energy to guide my life.  Other expectations work against me and creating uncomfortable struggles.  For example, if I sit down to write these meditations in the morning (which I do) when I am at my most creative and energized, I feel the winds of expectations in my favor.  On the other hand, if I try to convince someone how s/he is wrong, why his/her perspective is all bent and broken, chances are good that I am working against a strong headwind of certainty in our culture.  More and more I realize through our constant criticism, we are creating canyons of certainty between ourselves and others. 

 

One of the most heartfelt, honest questions we can ask ourselves is, what do I want?  Truthfully.  Deep down desires.  What we want begins to give voice to our expectations. When we do this in worship, we begin to unpack, notice, name something sacred, even if we are uncomfortable with being so honest.  Yesterday when you came to church, what expectations did you cart and carry with you?  We can think about this musically or in terms of the sermon or what kind of greeting we will receive. On Sundays, do we desire a dance with the Divine where our toes might be stepped on or for God to keep some distance so as not to disrupt our lives, like the divine did to Mary?  Do we want God to bless, baptize our ways or are we willing, like Isaiah to have our whole lives upended by the Eternal?  All this stirs, swirls, speaks to me because I wonder what Isaiah thought would happen in worship that day centuries ago?  Did he expect to be wrapped in the hem of the Holy?  Did he expect angels would start singing?  Did he expect God to show up, interrupt and disrupt his life by calling him to be a prophet?  The text doesn’t say.  But I guess that most of us would say, “Um, that’s a hard pass on completely changing my life, God.  But thanks anyway.”

 

Today, spend time prayerfully pondering ~ exploring and examining your expectations ~ your deep desires.  Name and notice them.  Write them down.  What do you expect of yourself?  Your friends or partner?  Our church?  Our community?  Our country?  God?  Be honest about the hopes you haul around, the dreams you drag, and the carton on expectations you carry.  Tomorrow, we will continue to let Isaiah awaken us to the expectations of how we live our life ~ and how we enter our calling. 

God's Calling ~ Prayer

 

Prayer: God help me in Samuel like moments when I am too busy to listen.  Help me when my own thoughts or the voices of others crowd out Your calling.  Help me when the baggage of my soul sinks me down.  Keep calling like You did for Samuel.  Keep persistently and patiently reaching out.  I will try, prayerfully and with all my heart, to take the next right step.  I will trust and know that sometimes the next step is forward process, other times sideways progress, and other times no progress whatsoever.

Be with all those today who are hurting.  Meet Your people in our wounds and wants, in our unprocessed pain and anger.  Help us be honest and open that You don't ask for us to have it all figured out.

Be Thou, for me, a safe space to be fully myself in these days.  Help me ask good questions.  Help me stay open for Your movement.  Help me continue to say, “Here I am, speak for Your servant is listening.”  Then, listen!  Remind me that life doesn’t come with a money back guarantee, but with a promise of Your presence every single day.  Surround and sustain and grant me strength every day.  Amen. 

God's Calling - We don't have it all figured out

 

A few weeks ago, I offered the analogy of the Slinky as a serendipitous example of the ways calling can go off course and still end up in a holy place.  Richard James, inventor of the Slinky, was trying to create springs to keep sensitive ship equipment stable out at sea.  He wasn’t trying to create an amazing toy.  And this isn’t a one off, rare example.  There are many others including: corn flakes, silly putty, potato chips, the pacemaker, post it notes, and penicillin.  All those started off as mistakes.  For example, delicious potato chips were “discovered” by a chef responding to a French customer who kept sending fries back to the kitchen until that chef made them so crisp they became the famous potato chip.  Art Fry wanted to find ways to stick papers into his hymnal for church choir that would not fall out and viola the Post-it note was born.  Yet another benefit of church!  Sometimes we start off heading in one direction only to take a U-turn, followed by a quick left, then right, and end up in a neighborhood we have never seen before. 

 

I pray that you are hearing in these morning meditations this week the permission that you don’t (probably won’t) have your whole calling all figured out even as we wind down and wrap up the sermon series.  I hope you hear that your five-week plan is fuzzy, and your five-month plan might have a great deal of fiction.  Things shift and swirl and spin in new directions and we try to pivot. 

 

One final part of the Samuel story is in the beautiful interplay between the interior and exterior life.  Your calling will have both components.  God comes to Samuel in the night when Samuel is all alone.  God calls to Samuel, causing Samuel’s heart to strangely warm.  Yet, this wasn’t just the interior call about Samuel feeling God’s love. Samuel had an exterior call too.  He needed to stand up and share the words God had laid on his heart.  Interior/exterior.

 

Both matter and make a difference.  Interior life is about listening to our shy soul, where our heart surges and mind is curious, and God speaks.  Then, the exterior life are the people who support you and how you share your light.  Also, there are ones who stand in your way ~ as God can work through even those who push all your buttons.  You move constantly from the interior to the exterior parts of calling ~ often without really giving this much thought.  You sense the Sacred guiding your step in that direction, you take the next logical step.  You may feel your heart glow, or you may stumble and fall flat on your face.  Or maybe it is somewhere in-between, in the messy middle.  Sometimes we go a few steps, only to realize how fraught with fears the next few moments will be and wonder if we can keep on keeping on.  Or maybe things start off awesome and you can almost see a major mile maker right ahead.  And you blink and the mile marker is now missing, gone in a flash!

 

When have mistakes and miscues actually guided you in a holy way?  When have those mistakes and miscues caused frustration to fume within you and pour out your ears? When has the sailing of calling been smooth?  When has it been rough and rocky?

 

Pray these questions this week.  May the One who move in all things and through all things ~ from calm to chaos center you as you seek prayerfully to follow your calling in these days.  Amen.

God's Calling as Listening

 

Throughout the Calling Sermon Series, I have been amazed by the truths that: 1. God rarely calls the perfectly polished or powerful people.  God seems to call people who questions their own ability.  As Parker Palmer says, “You can’t be fully yourself if you are full of yourself.”  When we are willing to admit our fumbles and false starts, I think that is where the seed of the Spirit starts to sink deeper into the soil of our souls.  2. God’s call is rarely an easy to accomplish task.  3.  Often times, following our calling is one step forward then two (or twenty-two) steps backwards.

 

Samuel is called by God.  Samuel hears God’s voice.  God tells Samuel that he needs to go fire his mentor/boss/spiritual leader Eli.  Samuel says, “Come again!”  Samuel sees the difficulty of the task set before him.  Just like Moses had to face his past returning to Egypt.  Just like Jeremiah had to acknowledge his youth and the ways people discounted his voice.  Just like Jonah had to trade in his definitions of who God loved.  Just like Hannah had to cry out for God, wondering if God was listening.  So, too, Samuel is giving a task that will take more than just his chutzpah and courage and curiosity.  Most of the call stories set the person on the pathway s/he never expected or wanted.

 

As we continue to listen for God’s guidance, we do this because we need God’s strength and support every step of the way.  Perhaps during this sermon series, you have tried to follow your fascination and your fears have shown up gnashing their terrible teeth.  Perhaps you have followed your curiosity only to have concerns cause you to veer off course or stop completely.  We get lost following the threads of our calling; we show up knocking on doors where we may not be welcomed or expected.  Callings are circuitous and confounding.  But there are moments, when the light bulb goes on, when the a-ha relief and release floods our bodies, when we sense a trace of God’s grace.

 

For those moments, in those times, we echo Samuel/Moses/Hannah/Isaiah/Mary and proclaim, “Here I am God!”  Remember the phrase from Sunday is both, Here I am – which means behold and ready to serve.  Then, we pray, “Speak for your servant is listening.”  And then, the hard part, we listen for God.  There may not be a magical, neon sign, James Earl Jones voice booming moment that sets us on the path.  In the stillness and silence, the seeds of calling sink deeper into your soul.  In those moments, there is enough grace and love to feed and fuel our life for the next stage of the journey.

 

Prayer: God interrupt my life in intimate ways that let me know, even if I am on the wrong track or running low on energy, You continue to go beside, before, behind, and within me always. Amen.

Calling as a Nudge

 

Yesterday, we continued to reflect upon Samuel’s call.  We honored his confusion as speaking to our lives in these days.  We recognized that we can be in a hurry (physically, mentally, and spiritually) missing God’s prompting.  We confessed that the church has not always taught practices for listening for God, discerning the Divine’s guidance.  We named that we live in a world of endless opportunities!  For example, I receive at least one email a day asking me to join a “new, amazing, best-ever” online study opportunity.  Everyone has found Zoom and invites us to join. 

 

Yet, there are many times I long for clear answers from God.  I long for neon lights to tell me how to pastor in a world that has so much fear, hurt, hate, self-centered-ness, and driven by money.  I long to find words that might compel and challenge and change the hearts.  If I could just have God’s five-month (or five-day) plan for my life.  I will accept God’s wisdom via email, text, phone call, or even fax!!

 

Maybe God’s calling isn’t some finish line I cross or item I can check off - moving from my to-do to my to-done list.  Maybe calling isn’t a linear or logical list.  Maybe God’s calling isn’t something I possess/control or understand or can ever know fully.  Maybe built and baked into calling is not a super-highway that is smooth sailing, but calling is discovered through wrong turns, missed exits, and the GPS of my soul recalculating when I get lost!  Maybe a calling is not about my control or crafting a five-year plan with God’s seal of approval.  In fact, I may not ever be able to comprehend more than a few steps.  As I have heard it said that if we knew more than the next few steps, we would be so overwhelmed by the journey, we may not start.  God says, “Go where I send thee!” (To quote the great spiritual!).  And God says, “I will go with you.”  The promise wasn’t just something tactile, tangible, to be put on a to-do list, the promise was presence.  God’s presence.  God’s witness to with-ness.  God’s stirring and showing up in serendipitous ways. 

 

Where is God’s nudge for you today?  You will need to keep the prayer posture and practice of listening.  Where is that place curiosity is calling you to explore even when you can’t explain it to others?  What is that holy on the horizon that is softly whispering that you don’t have to have it all figured out.  Go.  Go to share God’s light.  Go to learn by faithful fumbles.  Remember, Samuel didn’t get it right the first few times, but our persistent and patient God continued to call him.  I trust that God is never one and done with us, rather God continually reaches out to our minds, hearts, and whole lives to respond, “Here I am, God.”

God's Calling

 

Yesterday, we listened to and learned from the call of Samuel.  I pray this week you will adopt the prayer posture and practice of every day saying, “Here I am, Lord.  Speak for your servant is listening.”  Then, you will listen.  Remember at first Samuel was confused and baffled.  At first, he thought the voice was Eli, his mentor and boss and leader of the synagogue.  This is an important detail to dwell with today because, for me, I can mistake and mishear and misunderstand God’s voice in my life.

How?  I am so glad you asked.

Sometimes we miss God’s movement in our midst because we are too busy.  Busy physically racing and running around.  Busy mentally trying to process all the words we encounter and experience.  There is some much information to consume and that can consume us!  Busy spiritually.  We believe the lie that taking time for ourselves to be with God is selfish.  Self-care is caring for the image of God in which you are still be created.  I write that because I still need to practice with this in my life. Dallas Willard said that hurry was, “the great enemy of spiritual life in our day,” and urged followers of Jesus to “ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”  Don’t just think of hurry in terms of perpetual physical motion.  Our minds can be overwhelmed and darting different directions; our souls sagged down with stress and strain and still pushing for more.  Where do you need to clear the chaos and clutter in your life so you can listen to God, for God, and with God?

1 Samuel says that the word of the Lord was rare.  We can get out of practice listening for God’s presence.  I believe God’s voice can sometimes sound like comfort and care, especially when we are hurting.  Sometimes the holy hum is more challenging and convicting from someone who I struggle to love.  Sometimes the Spirit hovers and hangs silently in our lives; not so much with instructions or a series of steps to achieve but with a reassurance and reminder of who we are.  We need to exercise the Spiritual muscle of sitting silently with the Sacred.

It can be easy to want to go down every rabbit hole or chase every waterfall.  We can be lured by the bright and shiny and new.  Or someone tells us we have to/ought to/need to do something and we think, “I guess that could be God’s voice, so I guess I better go after that idea just to be safe.”  What if, rather than racing and running; chasing chaotically; you paused.  My hunch is God will understand if you check with God to be clear this is God’s call.  Of what if you talked to a trusted friend or mentor about the various directions you feel tugged toward?

Sometimes we have a clear sense of where we are being called.  I am grateful for Samuel’s confusion, because I am often baffled and bewildered and betwixt and between lots of different (competing) calls for my energy.  I need moments of holy pause, sacred silence, to let God’s wisdom to take my life and let it be guided by grace and love and unity. 

Prayer: Still speaking and singing and swirling God, cut through the clutter and chaos this day helping me center down in Your presence and letting You get a word in edgewise.  Amen.

Giving Your Calling the BEST Energy

 

Here we are, halfway through the month of October.  We are also starting to wind down the Calling Sermon Series…just two more Sundays left.  To be sure, that doesn’t mean that by the end of October you will have your calling completely figured out and your five-year plan firm, ready to carry out.

 

Chances are you will have guesses and glimpses of where God’s holy prompting is nudging you right now.  I want to offer one more framework for thinking about calling.  This one is to look at your day.  We often say that how you live your hours/minutes of life is how you live your life.  Moreover, your day has an ebb and flow.  We all have moments when we are more awake and alert and alive.  I tend to be a morning person.  I love the hours of 7 am to 11 am.  That is when I tend to do most of my writing and feel my most creative.

 

By 11 am, I am starting to get a bit hungry, ready for a break.  After lunch, I do get a small burst of energy.  By 2 pm, I am slowly down.  By 4 or 4:30 pm, I am approaching Zombie status.  Sometimes, rather than engaging our calling when we are at our most creative and awake, we tend to put it off.  I think this comes from our childhood when I had to eat my Lima Beans before I could leave the table.  I think, “Well, I can’t work on the sermon until I do that task I don’t really like.”  This is not the best way to calendar or live your life.  Rather, why not do what you love when your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health is at its peak?  Why not volunteer when you have the most energy and do the dishes later.  Why not go connect with a friend, then you can answer emails.  Think about your day and how you can make sure what is most life giving happens when you are most able to give that moment your best energy.

 

That is how you let your light shine brightest.  Amen.

God's Calling

 

This week, I have shared a bit about what led me to this calling of being a pastor.  Early experiences in the church that were bread crumb moments to going to seminary.  My two opportunities I to dive deeply in seminary and learn about being a pastor.  What about now? 

 

I sense that my calling continues to shift in new directions.  I was recently asked what my favorite parts of being a pastor are?  I quickly, without overthinking the question, said:

1.     Sunday morning worship and preaching;

2.     Pastor care, hearing your stories;

3.     Creative writing – like these meditations or my book of devotions coming out in November.

 

I know, you thought I was going to talk about how much I love meetings.  I actually do like committee meetings especially when we share what is in our hearts, support each other, and talk about the calling of the church.  These moments matter too, but in the moment the person asked that question, meetings didn’t quite crack the top three.  The above three holy duties of worship, sharing God’s love, and creative writing is when my soul feels most alive.  Within your calling, where you feel most alive and engaged, there might be many layers.

 

What is it about volunteering at school or the hospital that fills you the most?  Try to be as descriptive as you possibly can.

What are the top three moments in your life each month? When you review your calendar, what is the cream that rises to the top?

 

Those questions can help you continue to explore your calling and clarify the unique ways you can share your light.  To be sure, there are many pastors who would not have the same top three as me.  So too, even if you share a passion and vocation for a certain way to volunteer or care or lead, the way you do that is uniquely beautiful to you! 

 

I pray for God to awaken your imagination and cause your shy soul to speak up as you seek to embrace and embody your calling in these days.  Amen.

A Sampling of My Calling Story Part Two

 

Yesterday I shared a bit about my experiences that led me to the doorway of seminary.  Today, I will share with you my two experiences in seminary, which provided a foundation for and formation of my calling.  I received my Master of Divinity from United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities.  It was a time of great learning, challenge, exploration, making mistakes (a lot of them) and growing (usually most from the stumbles and bumbles of mistakes).  I went to seminary full-time.  I enjoyed the classes.  If I had to pick, my favorite was my New Testament classes because the professor was engaging and caring. 

 

The joke among pastors once we graduate and begin to serve the church is, “Seminary didn’t teach me that!”  This could refer to filling the boiler on cold New Hampshire Sunday mornings, as I did in my first calling.  Or how to deal with a grief-stricken parent at the death of a child.  Or how to preach Sunday after Sunday; where do I find the strength or original content each week?  Another insider joke is that most pastors have three to five sermons in us that we repeat on a loop.  I will leave it up to you if you find that to be true about me. 

 

Eventually, I came to understand that while I loved many of the tasks of being a pastor, my favorite was Sunday morning and preaching.  I loved the art of crafting a sermon.  I loved the creativity that went into writing, the exploration of Scripture, and weaving a connection begin the holy words in the Bible and God’s holiness in our lives.  This led me to enroll at Luther Seminary for a doctorate program in preaching.  Those are some of my fondest memories of my education.  Every summer for three weeks, I would travel to Luther Seminary in St. Paul, MN.  Teachers would help us explore what it meant to embody God’s word and share a meaningful message for the day.  It was a time of growth and my mind felt heavy with new ideas.  It was during my doctorate process that I left behind a manuscript and began memorizing my sermon.  This helped free me from words on a piece of paper.  My practice is that I still write a full manuscript that I memorize each week.  There is a wonderful dance between the work of writing and memorizing and inviting the Spirit in as I speak the words on Sunday morning. 

 

I have heard it said that a gift or calling is something you find life-giving that others think is too difficult.  For example, I see someone sit down, play the piano, and sing, I think, “Wow, that is impressive!!”  I could never move my fingers and my mouth at the same time.  When I ask the musician about it, she will say, “It’s nothing.”  Part of the reason is usually the person practices, just as I practice memorizing my sermon.  But sometimes finding your calling from God is an activity you find life-giving and comes to you.  This is not to say that you never feel stress when doing your calling.  I know I am still nervous on Sunday mornings.  I know musicians also have butterflies in their stomachs.  I know teachers who don’t eat before lecturing.  The nervousness is because we know we are doing something that is life-giving and where our deepest prayer is to let God’s light shine through us.  When we do what matters and makes a difference to us whether that is music or quilting or teaching or listening or being a nurse or sharing a sermon, we know something is at stake.

 

I hope in the comment section you might post something that for you is life-giving.  Or better yet, call me to talk.  Maybe it is an activity someone says you are amazing at and you think, “Really?”  Yes, really, it is amazing when you sing, play the organ, lead a meeting, teach, help a child learn to read, listen to a Middle Schooler, care for animals, garden, and even preach. 

 

I pray you will hold these words in your heart and God might move from them unveiling a calling for you in these days. 

A Sample of My Calling Story Part One

 

As we are going through the Calling Sermon Series, I have taken out the reel-to-reel film (remember those from school?) of the art project called, “My Life” to rewind and remember where I sensed God’s movement and motion in my life.  I am recalling where I felt God swirling and stirring and calling.  Remember, calling is never finished.  Remember, calling can take time ~ twenty-five years for Abraham and Sarah to welcome Isaac or the countless, untold years for Hannah to welcome Samuel.  Moreover, our calling may not work out exactly as we plotted and planned. (as I said Sunday, there is the life you plan and the one you live).  Think of Moses never getting to put his pinkie toe into the Promised Land, he never got to taste the milk and honey.  Most of the prophets we have studied (outside of Jonah) did not convince or convert people to hear God’s wisdom or to change ~ something I hold in my heart when I stand to preach each Sunday.  Our calling may not have spectacular results or a legacy with its own Wikipedia page. 

 

I looking back, I grew up going in the church.  I was in the children’s choir, Christmas pageants, and I even got perfect attendance pins for Sunday School.  I can remember the adult choir sang from a balcony at the back of the church.  At the end of the service they would sing, “Shalom be with you.”  I always turned around to watch.  I sensed God’s peace (which is what the Hebrew word, “Shalom” means) in that moment.  In middle school, I began going to summer camps and youth gatherings sponsored by UCC.  While there was never a bolt of lightening with God’s voice saying, “Thou shalt be a pastor, Wesley”, there was a slow, steady sense of the Spirit guiding me toward serving the church.  I had this peace/shalom when I was at church on Sundays or youth gatherings.  I felt most alive and most authentically myself in these settings.  While I did a brief stint in customer service for a credit card company after graduating college, I began investing and applying to seminaries after just a few months of working in that business setting. 

 

I know in Scripture it is often dramatic, Divine moments of God interrupting and intentionally calling someone to be a prophet or to a new way of life.  For me, it was a bit more subtle.  There were bread crumb moments of God’s leading grace along the way.  God leading me on a savory pace toward seminary.  God spoke to me through moments of being out in creation as a counselor at camp or when I was canoeing on a lake.  God helped me in crafting early sermons and feeling people’s support.  God moved through pastors who showed up in my life to help support, love, and suggest to me, “Maybe you should think about seminary.”  There was no neon sign.  There was no blinding light or booming voice.  Just seeds of the sacred planted, tended, until my soul was ready to take this path toward being a pastor.

 

Callings can happen both slowly over time and dramatically when you know you have to do something now!  When you look back at your life, how do you sense God’s guidance and nudging you within your history/story?  Was it one moment your soul surged, and your heart said emphatically, “Yes,” to an opportunity?  Or was the movement toward your calling more gradual and gentler?  Or perhaps, it was a bit of both.

 

I invite you to review the reel-to-reel film of your life today as you think about your calling and where you might be calling on or being called upon by the Holy to move in these days.  May God bless such mediations today.

Owning and Saying Our Prayers ~ God's Calling

 

A week ago on Sunday, we opened our hearts and whole lives to the narrative of Abraham and Sarah’s calling from God. We held lightly that God is never finished crafting and creating in us and through us.  No matter how many birthday candles were on your cake last year, God is still moving in your midst in meaningful, life-giving, and life-changing ways.

 

Yet, our minds have a few false phrases that can be repeated on a loop. Have you ever found yourself saying, “It’s too late.”? Or “You missed your chance.”?  Or “I guess that ship has sailed.”  Sometimes we say this to excuse ourselves from the calling. We want to convince ourselves that the window closed, ignoring the other door that opened. To be sure, there are moments when it is too late.  I cannot rewind time to go back to when my kids were little.  But it is a false narrative to think that it is too late to be a loving parent. If there is breath within me, there is an opportunity to share God’s love, to forgive, to do justice, and walk humbly with God. 

 

Abraham and Sarah learned that lesson late in life. Hannah learned this as well in her life.  She thought that the chance to have children was never going to happen.  She called out to God.  I love that part of our calling story isn’t just us sitting passively by waiting for God to text us or hit us up on social media. We can call on God. You can call on God.  You can awaken the courage of your inner-Hannah and call on God with the deep desires of your life.  To be sure, God’s collaboration and cooperation and co-authoring your life may not exactly look like your five-year-plan.  God often takes me on circuitous routes, with many exit ramps, where my five-day-plan is no longer relevant or realistic.  But, in each moment every day, I try to be honest about what is stirring and swirling deep within me.  Hannah reminds us that we are not just some puppets with strings God is pulling; we have a voice (remember vocation, calling, comes from the Latin root for voice); we have agency; we have prayers for our lives.  We need to voice those honest and heartfelt prayers, own those prayers, let the deep part of ourselves vulnerably have a seat at the table.  Remember, your soul is shy and takes time to open (or unfurl and unfold like a flower).

 

What is your deepest prayer for yourself today?  Not your prayers for others, who I know you love.  But for yourself?  If you were like Hannah to cry out to God, what would you long to be born within you today?   I hope you will sit with those two questions today and let them simmer prayerfully in the stew of your soul this week.  Amen.