Relationships Part 14

 

How is the relationship recipe tasting in your life this week?  Does it feel too salty or spicy?  Do you feel fed and full? Are others tossing and throwing in words and glares and stares that gives your soul indigestion?  Are you finding yourself drawn to headlines that leave dread-lines on your heart?   Or are you finding ways to both give and receive the gift of relationship? 

The who, what, why, when, and how questions are endless and sometimes exhausting.  Part of relationships is tending the interior life.  Your relationship with yourself. 

 

How is that going this week? 

 

Honestly, for me recently, I would have to say, not that great.  I can end up relying too much on others to take care of me rather than caring for myself.  I can turn to others seeking out compliments and assurance rather than turning to the Source, God, the Breath of Life that can be encountered in each inhale and exhale.  The truth of Genesis 2 is that we are crafted in and for relationships.  We are crafted by God who longs to be in relationship with us.  We are crafted and created from dust, the earth, in which we find our truest self.  And as Genesis 2:18 preaches and proclaims, “It is not good for the human to be alone.”  No matter how much you or I want to be isolated individuals, our souls long to be seen and heard and known and loved. 

 

So, given this, we can be more aware and awake to what and who and when and how we are feeding and fueling our lives with others.   We can make decisions…not all the time…but most of the time about the relational fuel in the tank of our soul.

 

A few questions to ponder:

 

How much care and support do you need?  Just like not everyone needs 8 glasses of water, yet we all need some water to survive.  How much relational time you need varies – perhaps day to day.  How much care and love you need varies, it is healthy to ask yourself at the start of the day, how much care and support do I need in the hours to come?  From whom, including yourself, can provide that care?

 

How much challenge and growth do you long for?  Some people are content being who they are.  They are comfortable, don’t want to change, so the idea of a coach feels odd or even offensive.  Others are always trying to grow and gobble up podcasts like M&Ms – that’s me by the way.  What is your capacity for growth right now?  And realize the polarization and pandemic and pain of the last few years has left all of us wounded and wanting.  For me, I long to belong and continue to grow, but I affirm this may not be true for everyone.

 

Assess where you are emotionally, physically, relationally on a scale of one to ten.  For example, with dropping our son off at college, that was draining emotionally and relationally for me, so my tank is a bit low.  I am blessed by my wife and daughter and texts from my son that help keep me going and fill me.  I am blessed by church members who ask me how I am doing.  Asking yourself each day how full is your emotional or relational or spiritual or physical tank is a GREAT way to start the day.  This is a helpful and healing prayer practice.  If you are exhausted emotionally, perhaps it is not the best time to call your friend who complains.  If you are feeling energized and ready, that could be a great time to reach out.  To be sure, the other may ignore the text or let the call go to voicemail.  Relationships are always that dance between the “me” and “we” - and you don’t get to control the other.

 

I pray today you will continue to record…just as you would on a food journal…how it is with your soul and ways others are leaving an impression ~ good or not so great. 

 

May you today know joy, love, peace, and contentment…and may you share those who others as you are able.  Amen.