Morning Meditation

 

What stories have you been noticing, hearing, telling, and sharing over the last few weeks?  The beautiful part of this prayer practice is that it takes time to explore and evolve.  The more you return and review the chapter titles of your life, the deeper you can dive into listening to your life.  The more you look at the lists you have of top ten moments; the more you lean in, remember and recall a once-forgotten-detail.  It is like a sacred spiral that takes you deeper.  Or as Rabbi Abraham Heschel said, “Words create worlds.”  And the more you inhabit and investigate the world of your words, the more material it will create.  Stories are generative.  They tend to feed and fuel more stories.  Keep listening to your life.  Keep tuning in to the words you speak.  To do this, I will add a wonderful practice from Ian Morgan Cron.  He says that before he says a word in a conversation, he asks three questions:

~ Does this need to be said? 

~ Does this need to be said by me?

~ Does this need to be said by me right now?

 

First, asking these three questions will slow you down.  You can’t quickly respond.  To be sure you may lose that witty come back that would have gone down in history as the greatest one liner ever.  And you may even lose some of the initial emotion (anger or euphoria) in the moment.  The trade off is that these questions can help you find a deeper place within you from which to speak.  Second, don’t feel like you always must use these questions.  If a person is taking your order and asks you about your preferred side dish is, go with your gut.  But in conversations that matter, even in causal conversations with friends, these questions might provide new insights for you in the great art project called, “Your Life”. 

 

A few thoughts on the questions.  The first, does this need to be said?  I encourage you to pay attention not only to your response to that question (yes or no), but also the passion with which you are thinking/answering.  If I am annoyed that a family member didn’t do something I asked him/her to do and am about to go give said family member a piece of my mind - but having read this insightful post today - pause and ponder, “Does this need to be said?”  In response, my brain thinks, “Darn tooting it needs to be said.  In fact, it has been said by me so many times that you’d think by now it would have sunk in!!!”  I might also notice that I am quite stirred up at the moment.  This leads to the second question, “Does this need to be said by me?”  In the story of our life, we are the s/hero and lead character – of course we want the most lines.  Of course, we think we move the plot along.  Of course, we believe our unique voice and insights will bless, heal, and help the world.  However, if we return to the above example of frustration with a family member, it seems like I have said something similar before and didn’t really make a huge difference and dent.  Or in a meeting, I have found that if I wait just a moment (asking these three questions), it gives time for someone else to say a similar thought.  The diversity of voices is part of the symphony of God.  Finally, I love the last question, “Does this need to be said right now?”  In a world of Twitter, texting, emails, constant communication, we have sped up responses to an unsustainable and unhealthy pace.  We don’t have to return to long-form letter writing transported by the Pony Express, but a bit of space (a few minutes or hours) can be helpful in editing the story we are telling ourselves. 

 

Now is your chance to go out into the world and try to let this prayer practice of questioning how you are sharing your words and wisdom.  May you take a breath and pause before speaking today.  I pray you find moments when these questions help you, guide you, and lead you to share God’s love in more profound ways.  With God’s love to you all ~