Battery Check

 

The other morning, I was out for a jog and my Fitbit watch vibrated on my wrist.  I looked down to see an image of a red battery declaring I only had 5% left.  Even as I tried to hurry home, the watch shut down, turned off, and went blank. 

 

The battery gave out.

The watch stopped counting my steps and calories.

Whomp, whomp…insert sad face emoji here.

 

I sometimes wish my soul had such a feature to tell me when I was running on empty.  I wish my soul would shout out, “Hey! Time to go walk in creation and leave your cell phone at home!”  I wish I would get a text message from God saying, “Wes, remember the church will be okay without you racing and running all around.  You don’t, like Peter, have to haul the net ashore all alone.”

 

The truth is, that actually happens, I just don’t pay attention.  There are moments I feel agitated or take out my anger ~ which is my soul saying something is not right.  Instead of asking what the irritant is trying to teach me, I push the pain off on others or blame “them”.  There are times when the constant drip, drip, drip of negativity weights down my heart and yet I keep consuming more bad news, wondering why I don’t feel so good?  The constant overflowing calendar at once can exhaust us, but secretly our shadow side likes to know that we are needed and necessary.  Yet, is life lived at a blur the best way?  When do we, like Howard Thurman, sit under an oak tree to listen?  When do we, like Wendell Berry, rest in the peace of wild things?  There are times when I need to go read a good book or laugh with my family or just breathe and be.

 

One of the ways we can tune into how our soul is doing is to listen.  Listen to the stories we are telling ourselves and others about life.  Are we talking only about the bad things?  Are we so laser focused on the brokenness out there, while our internal color commentary in our minds continually points out all our flaws?  See how lethal that combination is ~ when the outer and inner worlds are so tattered and torn the nets of our life often feel empty.  When the internal and external world are lacking, the nets of our life won’t catch anything.

 

Too often we reduce life thinking that you are either pessimistic or optimistic ~ you can either see the glass half full or empty, “thems” are the choices I was told as a child.  But there is a way to be thankful for the water in the glass!  There is a way that allows space for both lament and love; for both tears and laughter; for both grief and gratitude.  This is a muscle we need to exercise regularly.  For example, this week, our son will graduate.  My heart is so full it could burst.  I feel both joy as I look back on the last 18 years as well as seeing the boneheaded mistakes I made.  I rejoice as I see him grow up and sometimes wish for those sleepless night when I would carry him in my arms to get him to fall asleep (never thought I would want those days back!)  I know the tears of joy for this important transition, something is closing, and something is beginning.  All this and so much more sits on the shelf of my soul. 

 

To do a daily battery check is part of these morning meditations.  To hold the question, how is it with your soul?  Or to use the question from last week, what is caught in the net of life?  How can the things on your calendar ~ events and experiences ~ open you to the Eternal?  Where is there space on your calendar?  One way to charge your battery is through practicing gratitude.  Another is by sitting long enough to slow your breathing.  Another is to keep completing the sentence, “I have seen the Lord…”  Another is to sing.  Another is laugh.  Another is to do something that makes you feel alive; like writing bad poetry as I often share with you. 

 

The world needs people who are fully alive, Howard Thurman said.  How are you embracing and embodying that quote this day and this week?  May your responses help charge the battery of your soul each and every day.  Alleluia and Amen.