The Stories in Our Life

 

From wearing shirts that were a size too big, to rolling up the bottoms of my jeans so I didn’t step on them when I walked, to a suit coat that you could’ve fit two of me inside, I grew up wearing hand-me-downs.  But the truth is, that wasn’t the only thing given to me by my family.  Our families also pass down narratives from generation to generation.  You are still living inside (or bumping up against or trying to break free from) the story of your family of origin.  Some of the stories are about expectations around holidays, who brings the potato salad to the family reunion, what is “acceptable” attire at a meal, and which conversation topics are permissible, and which are off-limits.  You were formally taught these rules of your family, usually by saying something that earned you a swift punishment of some form (mine was being sent to my bedroom without dessert).  But we also caught these narratives, like a contagious virus, informally from listening to our parents and relatives at gatherings.

 

What stories did you hear growing up? 

 

What expectations were both spoken aloud, maybe dripping with shame or guilt, and which ones were shared through stares of your grandparents that could melt an ice sculpture?

 

Last week, I introduced you to Family Systems Theory.  And one more component is that we carry with us the stories of our childhood into our adult years.  You have blessings and brokenness from your family of origin.  Pause and ponder with me: what is one lesson you learned growing up that you are grateful for?  And what is one lesson that feels like a burden too great to carry alone?  I know that for me, I give thanks for my parents' sense of humor.  I also felt the weight of needing to get straight A’s in school and often falling short.

 

This week, I want to invite you to consider the multiple stories that you, like a seamstress, weave together day by day in your life.  You are given stories from the church, politically, from social media, economically, culturally, and from your peer group and neighborhood.  Sometimes those stories are in harmony with each other.  We tend to have a bias toward keeping our stories in congruence with each other.  Because when one story disagrees with or is in tension with another, it feels like nails scratching down a chalkboard of your soul.  When the diverse and different stories collide within us, we force ourselves to resolve this tension.  Or ignore it.  Or mush them together like different colors of Play-Doh. 

 

In one sentence, what story does our church tell you?  What stories do you hear in your friend group? Or maybe you have different friend groups who tell two widely different stories? What stories do you hear culturally or economically or in the algorithm of your online platforms?  Are these stories comedies, tragedies, dramas, or mysteries?  Do these stories inspire you or drain all your energy?  Take a few moments this morning and ponder the stories you are hearing and how that impacts/influences the story you tell yourself about yourself.  Let’s sit with the patchwork quilt of stories we are all trying to bring and blend in our lives this week as hard/holy work of these days.