Worry

 

A prayer for those who are worry-warts (like me)

God, I know Jesus said, do not worry, but I am so good at it!!  I have practiced worrying and have it down to an art.  My mind can create thousands of fictional future problems that I race off to solve, even though they may never happen.  I have convinced myself that my worry is productive, like sitting in a rocking chair and expecting to go somewhere.  That while I may not have to outrun a lion out in the wilderness, I can plan and plot and be prepared like a good Christian scout.  Deep down, I want You to notice all my hard work.  God, I confess my own salvation projects.  God, I name and notice my fear for my family, and that I don’t get to decide what they do.  God, I name and notice my concerns for the church, that trying to lead people can be like herding cats.  And too often I take too much responsibility and accountability for that which is not mine.  God, I name and notice my anger at culture that wounds and hurts and how I think I can be a superhero to save the day.  God slow me down.  God make me human size.  God stop my striving to be still…to be (see Morning Mediation from Wednesday).  Let Your love get a word in edgewise and write a gospel on my heart and life, my calendar and credit card, on this holy, unknown and uncontrollable day.  For here I am, God.  Here You are, God.  Here we are together.  May these three sentences be the wisdom I need every hour, every second, this day.  Amen. 

Fasting

 

So far this week, we have read all of chapter 6 in Matthew, we have vulnerably opened our checkbooks to God (not with trembling but with hope for God to graciously get a word in edgewise) and we have come before God honestly/prayerfully as we tried to lay down our agendas and wishes ~ as though God was a genie in a bottle.  We embraced and embodied the holy act of vulnerability ~ to be in God’s presence.  Today, let’s dwell on the word, “fasting”.  This word usually means denying ourselves.  For example, next week, March 5, we begin Lent.  One prayer practice is to give something up (chocolate or soda or alcohol or over functioning).  This is one way of fasting.  But this prayer practice needs not only be for food, but it can also be to refrain and reframe that which we have elevated and are emulating.  For example, there are things we worship, sacrifice at the altar of life, physically ~ we can become addicted to exercise or too many twinkies or binge-watching Netflix.  We can worship at the altar of always being positive or being cynical and critical.  We can worship at the altar of committing to doing everything at church (oh, that one is close to home!) or we can worship a relationship where we are so enmeshed that we can’t be happy unless our friend, partner, or family member is happy.  We don’t know where we end, and they begin.  Fasting is paying attention to what we are consuming and what is consuming us.  It can be news, work, fast food, alcohol, sex, money, being praised, or people pleasing.  Fasting is to be aware of what we turn to when we are stressed out to numb the pain.  This takes time and this passage is so powerful as we look to being the season of Lent.  What do you need to refrain from and reframe your one wild and precious life to create space for the holy?  Where and toward what do you race and run the second your restlessness starts to make you feel like you want to crawl out of your skin and go buy a yurt in the desert?   Listen to your life, because that is where God shows up.  As always, find a partner, a soul friend to talk to as you process all that is stirring with you and around you.  With God’s love.  Amen.

Praying

 

The great art of spiritual living is to pay attention to the breathing of the Spirit right where you are and to trust that there will be breathing of new life.  Henri Nouwen

 

Yesterday I invited you to sit with your credit card statement or bank balance as a prayer practice.  Today, I encourage you to breathe.  Jesus tells us that we can all have a prayer closet.  Fun Bible Nerd fact…we think that homes in Jesus’ day had small closets which is where you would go to undress and change clothes, in other words, be naked.  There is a story of St. Francis who stripped down in court to stand naked before the judge as an act of vulnerability.  The closet is the place where we strip off all those filters of social media, the clothes that we want to project that we have it all put together, take off our outer confidence which we wield like a shield to protect us, and our need for control.  Brain McLaren’s amazing book, “Naked Spirituality” or Richard Rohr’s, “The Naked Now” remind us that control is not the goal of life.  Praying is an act of peeling off the armor that we wear in the world.  Praying is an act of putting aside our agenda.  Prayer is being silent.  Today, I invite you to go somewhere quiet.  It does not need to be a closet, because I am aware that is a space that has negative connotations for our LGBTQ siblings.  I invite you to find a space and place where you can show up fully as you are ~ with all your blessedness and brokenness, with all your striving and stress, with all that is in you physically, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.  Maybe that is outside sitting under a tree or by your pool.  Or a park bench.  Or come to church and sit under the oak trees in the Memorial Garden where our ancestors flutter on the wind and can be heard in the rustling of leaves.  Find a sacred space where you can be you.  Then slowly pray this prayer pausing after each line to let the words soak in and let silence/space for the Sacred to sing to your shy soul:

 

Be still, and know that I am God

Be still, and know that I am

Be still, and know that

Be still, and know

Be still

Be

 

Repeat the above as many times as needed to sense God’s love in your life. Amen.

Holding Matthew 6

 

This week, the Sermon on the Mount takes a turn right toward your everyday life.  The mystics say that there is no such thing as your “spiritual” life.  Paula D’Arcy says, “God comes to you disguised as your life,”  God comes to you in your daily activities, doctor’s appointments, driving down the road, shopping at the grocery store, talking to your friends, and so many more mundane/ordinary moments.  How you live your life is how and where God shows up.  To be sure, most of us think of faith as going to church, making a pledge, serving on a committee or going to help with a free community meal, visiting someone in the hospital.  To be sure, these are holy acts of love.  But, we compartmentalize and categorize some activities as holy and others as ordinary.  God cannot be separated or segregated or segmented into easily manageable (which is to say controllable) ways.  At the end of January, I asked you to light a candle and look at your calendar.  You can do the same this week for the month of February.  How has God shown up in serendipitous ways that you never saw coming?  When did you expect God to be there, swoop in like a superhero, and God left you hanging or you felt like God ghosted you?  When and where can you be honest about your whole lives (remember Jesus ended chapter 5 by saying be whole as God is whole ~ so we explore and express where we are physically – in our bodies and geography, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally).

 

In chapter 6, Jesus addresses issues of almsgiving or how/when/where you swipe your credit card or click “buy” online; how to connect with the Creator, to pay attention to what we are consuming and what is consuming us (practice of fasting), what we cling to, and the concerns we carry that weigh us down.  Chapter 6 is a marathon of wisdom that when you are finished reading you may feel like you need a nap. 

 

I invite you today to read chapter 6 in its entirety.  Where do you find your spirit soaring and saying, “Amen”?  Where do you want to raise your hand and have Jesus clarify what he is saying?  Where does your defense attorney in your mind shout, “Objection”?  For me, I find Jesus’ teaching on giving challenging, in a world that loves to recognize donors with plaques and praise and applause.  I find Jesus’ words on prayer compelling, when do I stop, breathe, be, let my soul catch up to me and stop trying to prove I am worthy?  I find Jesus’ words on fasting interesting ~ even as I realize there are things beyond food that I consume and can become a glutton of (I am looking at you social media and 24-hour-news-cycles).  I find his wisdom on worry downright difficult.  I am good at worry, and I have the hours in therapy to prove it! 

 

Just hold this chapter, let it rummage and roam around your life.  Please don’t read these words as some kind of manual that if you do “properly” you will receive a badge for your heavenly sash.  I think these words are expansive and evolving and meant to meet us in our ordinary life, which is where God always shows up.  Prayers for you and me as we read today.  Amen.

Prayers for Living

 

Agape-ing, Loving, lavish God, You stretch our lives in ways that will never return to the original shape.  We confess that others too often push and pull the threads of our lives.  We confess that we get flusters and flummoxed by the Sermon on the Mount, throw up our hands, and turn back to the “gospels of the world” because it is easier and safer.  We confess that no amount of information can lead to our transformation.  We confess that “We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.” (Richard Rohr).  And we cannot do this alone.  Help us, God.  Help us find ways of loving that evolve and expand each day.  Infuse and inspire us, call us to love in ways that the world may never accept or adopt.  Let the Jesus ethic, words of wisdom continue to nudge and needle at us in holy ways.  For the insights, for the frustrations, for the times we want to give up, guide us with grace and remember us that You are with us.  All this we pray in the name of the One who shows and shares agape-like affection with us every day, Jesus the Christ. Amen. 

Can we do this? Do we want to???

 

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’⁴⁴ But I say to you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ so that you may be children of your God in heaven, for God makes sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. ⁴⁶ For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? ⁴⁷ And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the gentiles do the same? ⁴⁸ Be whole, therefore, as your God is whole.  Matthew 5:43-48

 

How did loving a family member or close friend go yesterday?  For some of you, I am sure, it went awesome, amazing, and it was like the world was suddenly alive with the sound of music ~ cue Julie Andrews singing!  For some of you, you fell splat flat on your face, because your love was a one-way street that the other person didn’t reciprocate or return but shrugged off or dismissed making you felt like, “What a dumb thing to do, thanks a lot, Wes!”  For some of you, you are thinking, “Wait, he was serious about that loving thing, was that really another homework assignment?  When will it end?!?”

 

Just as love is expansive, evolving, there are countless ways to express and explore love ~ you will never exhaust love.  Remember, love will look different for a spouse and a church member and a government leader.  Remember love will take your whole life, which is to say your energy/attention/intention, to embody.  Remember love is never static or all that stable.  How I love my wife today is different than yesterday.  How I love a church member continues to shift like the sand on the beach near the waves because with each interaction there is new material and movement.  How I love God is in flux and is flexible.  We want to confine, which is to say, control, love.  We want to box love in (like that box of chocolates you got a week ago for Valentine’s Day).  But love, which is another name for God, refuses and refutes our efforts to be understood.  We practice or live day by day with this energy of love.  C.S. Lewis once said if we want to love our enemies, perhaps we should not start with the Gestapo.  When we read the above verse, I think the defense attorney in your mind leaps and lands on the most hated person on your enemy list first (insert whatever political leader or serial killer or evil person you can think of here) to let us off the hook.  Because if I don’t have to love _____, then maybe I don’t have to love that uncle who is racist and homophobic and xenophobic and keeps spouting statistics that make no sense.  Our minds are brilliant at distancing ourselves from this invitation of Jesus to the ethic of love, because that way we don’t have to love those in our family who have wounded us or keep pouring salt into our wounds.  Remember, love is elastic and evolving and expanding.  Remember, love for your spouse is different than for the governor of your state, regardless of how you voted.  When we pour our energy into living an ethic of love it is a grand experiment that has the possibility of blowing up in our face like baking soda and vinegar, making all kinds of emotional messy.  And…and God’s wholistic love is what will save us again and again and again.  Keep playing with love for those closest to you.  Keep practicing love in new ways with those that are easy to show agape and those in your family that set the tiny vein in your neck pulsing.  This is not easy.  G.K. Chesterton said, “The Christian ideal (Sermon on the Mount) has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried.”  I pray for the wholeness of God to enfold you, empower you, and enliven you to let these words of Jesus loose in your life and those you encounter today.  Amen. 

Stretched Out of Shape by Love

 

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’⁴⁴ But I say to you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ so that you may be children of your God in heaven, for God makes sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. ⁴⁶ For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? ⁴⁷ And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the gentiles do the same? ⁴⁸ Be whole, therefore, as your God is whole.  Matthew 5:43-48

 

Let’s start with a note on the last verse, 48, is usually translated, “Be perfect, therefore, as your God is perfect.”  But that translation has never sat well in my soul, because I don’t believe the point of God’s love is for us to have a shiny halo and badges on our heavenly sash.  I do believe, wholeness or integrity (which is to say alignment of our head, heart, soul, body, and actions) is the invitation.  I deeply believe I cannot achieve or accomplish wholeness alone.  I can begin with openness.  I can let Jesus’ words and wisdom turn over the tables of my well-established life.  I can let Jesus call into question with love my desire to be liked.  I can let the Sermon on the Mount gospel my story in ways that others will snicker and sneer at, because who actually lives the way we have been talking about?? 

 

Second note, this is the point in the sermon when I think the disciples got up and left.  How do you love a Roman soldier who sneers at you, threatens you, can hurt/harm/kill you with no reason?  How do you love Herod who taxed you until you barely have enough to feed your family?  How do you love a religious person who keeps on making you feel guilty for breathing/living/existing, but tells you to put a few more coins in the plate to appease an angry God?  How do you love a neighbor who steals from you or is always working the obligation of hospitality asking you for more flour or food ~ when you don’t have enough?  How do you love a family member who has wandered away (I am looking at you, prodigal son)?  How do you love a family member who is always telling you that you are wrong (I am looking at you older prodigal son)?  How do you love yourself when there is a committee of self-criticism clamoring in your head and your therapist is saying she should charge you for group therapy?  How do you love a world that is spinning out of control ~ both internally (in your soul) and externally?

 

I wish Jesus had given us more here.  Good Lord…precious Lord…take my hand, lead me on and help me stand!  I don’t know how to love fully and unconditionally, because we don’t love ourselves fully and unconditionally.  Further, now that it is after Valentine’s Day, let’s confess our definitions of love are too sugary sweet to give us more than tooth decay ~ but soul decay.  Love is too squish in our Hollywood, romance novel saturated, Hallmark card world.  Love can be fierce amid fragility.  Love needs to be expansive and evolving.  How I love my wife is not the same as how I love people at church and is not the same as how I will prayerfully seek to love leaders (most of whom I will never, ever meet).  In Jesus’ day there were four words for love:

1.     Eros, which is the romantic word for love.  (Not the word Jesus uses here, so you’re off the hook.  No romantically-loving your enemies… whew!)

2.     Phileo, which refers to human love, the kind of love you would have for your closest family members & friends, and the kind of love that compels us to show compassion to those in need

3.     Storge, being the natural, affectionate love that humanity has for one another, most commonly seen in the unforced love that a parent has for a child, but also the kind of love we might have for our pets, our co-workers, our community…  (Once again, not the word Jesus uses here…)

4.     Agape, which is classified as the highest form of love.  It is this word for “love” that Jesus uses here, and it is also this word for “love” that scripture uses to describe the kind of love the Lord God has for the humanity God created.  

Jesus is calling for an ethic of love that we embody and endlessly explore because every body we encounter is formed and fashioned in the image of God.  To be sure, sometimes God’s image in the person in front of us has been so marred by dis-ease and hatred that we scarcely can perceive God in that person.  Or as Paul says in his epic poem on love (1 Corinthians 13), we see in a mirror dimly ~ not just ourselves but God and others. To love doesn’t look the same, sound the same, feel the same in all situations.  I believe you can “agape” someone and put distance between you.  How will you express love to another today?  Pro tip here: don’t start with the person who most annoys you.  Start with people it is easiest to love, because even our family and friends who we have the deepest affection and appreciation for push our buttons.  How might you love your spouse, your friends?  Start there today.  And not just in intention but lived actions and words and presence toward those you encounter as you move about the world prayerfully seeking to live this wisdom of Christ today.

When the Sermon Hits Turbulence

 

³⁸ “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’³⁹ But I say to you: Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also, ⁴⁰ and if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, give your coat as well, ⁴¹ and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. ⁴² Give to the one who asks of you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.  Matthew 5:38-42

 

I imagine this was a point in the Sermon on the Mount when the disciples started squirming.  Remember, Jesus and his friends lived in a time of Roman occupation and oppression.  Rome did not just operate on an eye-for-an-eye justice scale.  They operated on a mob-like mentality of cruel crosses for all/any would-be rebel rousers and zealots.  Any talk of revolution, any claim to authority that didn’t bow to Caesar and kiss his ring, any hint of dissatisfaction and there was a cross waiting for you.  To be crystal clear, crucifixion was a Roman punishment that went beyond eye-for-an-eye.  They lived in a world of violence begetting more violence.  We live in a world that is fed and fueled by revenge ~ a dish best served with cruel calculated coldness.  We live in a world of one-ups-men-ship.  If you insult me, I will mock you with words that are meant to be like sticks and stones.  If you cancel me, I will out you for your hypocrisy.  And on and on the internet goes feeding and faming to flames our posts endlessly.  And on and on it goes with cable ‘news’ of people shouting at each other.  And on and on it goes with a two-party political system, with a family divided and drawing lines, with a world hell-bent on making sure that we don’t look vulnerable.  Good Lord.  I don’t know how we continue to live this way?  I know when my fight or flight or freeze or flock or fawn part of my brain is activated (which honestly right now in the cultural air is all the time!), I don’t want to hear these words of Jesus.  I want to defend and deflect and numb the pain (enter alcohol, Netflix, shopping, a new Zoom webinar promising me a pathway to awesomeness, drugs, sugar, a new diet, exercise, etc.…).  Good Lord.  When was the last time you answered someone’s criticism with silence?  When was the last time you looked around at all the stuff you stuff your life with and wondered, why?  These words of Jesus stretch us to shape that will not conform or contort to the world’s status quo.  Do we still want to practice and participate in non-violent protests?  Remember Jesus said that the way of a God-shaped life was going to be out-of-sync with a consumer culture thirsty for violence.  These are participatory and pragmatic.  How many shirts do you need?  How many points on some imaginary score board of life do you think it will take to “win”?  What do these words evoke and provoke for you?  Perhaps what challenges you and makes you very uncomfortable?  We sit with this wisdom of life today together in prayer with God who is the Artist still shaping our souls.  Amen.

Buckling Up for a Bumpy Ride

 

³³ “Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.’ ³⁴ But I say to you: Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, ³⁵ or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. ³⁶ And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. ³⁷ Let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’; anything more than this comes from the evil one.  Matthew 5:33-37

 

So, this is the point we when ask ourselves, “How much longer is this sermon?!”  Or, “Why are we doing this again?  Because I am sure there are a thousand videos on YouTube just waiting for you to click and watch an adorable dog do something that warms the cockles of your heart.  And yet, Jesus is asking us to dive deep into what we are saying, “Yes” to right now?  Or what are we saying, “No” to right now?  Or where is our silence or grudging, grumbling participation a quieter agreement with the status quo?  We make countless choices each day.  We give our life to work, volunteering, conversations, showing up places, moments of relaxation and countless clicks on the internet that is designed to keep you clicking and your eyeballs glued to the screen.  We give our lives to what we pray will make a difference but wonder if we are even moving the needle on the moral arc of the universe.  We all make oaths, which is to say promises, to ourselves, others and God.

 

Wait, pause with me on this point.

 

What is a promise you made to yourself?  Maybe in the form of a New Years Resolution.  Or maybe when you woke up hung over from too much wine the night before.  Or maybe when you got that credit card statement.  Or if you are like me, when you said “Yes” to a meeting before thinking about your calendar, even while your soul was crying out, “NOOOOO!” quietly inside.  What promises did you make to a friend about getting together for lunch or to your spouse on your wedding day or to your children at their baptism?  What promises do we make to our church, fellow featherless bipeds who sing with us every Sunday (this can be financial or to participate in a group or to show up someone or to volunteer for a team)?  What promises do we make to our city, community, and our country?

 

Time, attention, and allegiance are a powerful currency in our culture.  Where are you placing and pouring and storing yours?

 

What does an oath to God feel like, sound like?  Deep in my heart, I trust in a God of liberation, but too often my oaths enslave me to people pleasing and over-functioning.  Deep in my heart, I trust in a God who rests, but too often my calendar is too crowded for God and me to lounge together.  Deep in my heart, I trust in a God of grace given unconditionally, but too often I get caught in trying to measure my life by bottom lines of budgets and attendance on Sunday.  Where and when are you saying, “Yes” and “No” or “I don’t know, I’ll just go with the flow.”  Hold all this today as you are held by God’s love that will never let you go. Amen.

Friday Prayer

 

On this Valentine’s Day, I invite you to lean into your heart and listen for God’s love.  This week we have wrestled with words of Jesus that don’t fit into neat/tidy compartments or make us comfortable.  We have noticed and named how Jesus’ words in the hands/mouths of humans have caused more harm than good.  We have confessed that how we sexualize each other has ripples and ramifications that we don’t want to deal with.  Today, I encourage you to pause and pray for all those whose love has left fingerprints on your hearts.  I know for me, it is easier to preach about God’s love, because I have experienced and encountered love through my wife and children and in moments at our church.  I also know how fragile, fleeting love can be ~ like a vase dropped on the floor.  I pray for those who are grieving the death of a spouse on this day.  Grief is the price we pay for love.  I pray for those who are alone, angry, that love doesn’t just come knocking on our door and the fairy tale endings don’t magically happen.  I pray for the messiness of human love.  I pray for you, dear friend, wherever you are on this day dripping with sentimentalism and sugar rush of chocolate ~ whether your heart is light or heavy.  May you know God’s love in real ways.  May you find ways to celebrate our human relationships.  May you hear God whispering anew and afresh over your life, “You are my beloved!”  With God’s unconditional and unceasing love that is what feeds and fuels our souls.  Amen. 

Breathe

 

Today, let’s breathe.  One of my favorite quotes about the Sermon on the Mount is that if the disciples had heard this all at once, their minds would have exploded.  I also think trying to wade in the waters of these words, swim in the sea of what Jesus said and what pastors have preached about these words, is enough to overwhelm us. 

 

Today, let’s pray together.

 

God, we know what we do, say, how we show up matters and makes a difference.  We know that our emotions are what they are ~ not always understandable.  There are not good emotions or bad emotions, these are data points in response to our experiences and encounters.  I pray for those who are hurting right now.  I pray for those who are angry.  I pray for everyone reading these words that they will know that not everything can be solved like a Rubix Cube.  I wrestle and struggle like Jacob with the Sermon on the Mount.  My heart breaks and soul aches, for the ways Jesus words are used to oppress rather than liberate.  I ask for You to inspire and infuse our conversations about Jesus’ words.  Help us do more than debate or make decisions, choose a side, give us a discerning spirit that knows how we intimately interact as Your created beings does matter.  Help us confess our demeaning ways and words.  Help us find a new spirit of relationship with each other infused by You.  In the name of the One who stretches us, sometimes offends us, and calls us to a wayless way of following in these days.  Amen.

Prayers for the Brokenness

 

Are you still reading Morning Meditations this week?  I fully understand if you are thinking, “No thanks, Wes.  I’m watching adorable cat videos”.  Afterall, we would rather see Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount as good advice for someone else, than a gospel medicine we need to take to heal our wounded, broken souls.   But since we are still slowly trying to trudge with the holy messiness of this Sermon, let’s turn to the next two verses:

 

³¹ “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ ³² But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

 

Take a deep breath.

 

Pray with me: Too often, O God, we have taken Your wisdom and buried Your love with our human bias.  We have used Your words of liberation as a way to keep people in bondage.  I pray especially for my sisters in faith who have been told to stay in abusive relationships because of these two verses.  I pray for people who have left the church because pastors have quoted these words as justification for pouring salt in heartbroken, honest woundedness.  I pray for the ways we idealize marriage like it is supposed to be some Hollywood movie rather than the messy, human-size relationships that take our heart, souls, minds, and whole lives to explore.  For those who ache because of these verses, I pray for Your love to be felt in real ways.  For those who are angry, help me hear the hurt with open heart.  For those who have left the church behind because of these verses, I ask for forgiveness and openness.  God of healing, hope, and love let my words be inspired and infused by You.  Amen.

 

I don’t know why Jesus said what he said above.  I mean I could tell you about the two Jewish traditions/interpretations in Jesus’ day ~ one that was more conservative on divorce and one that was very lenient (saying that if a wife burnt her husband’s bread, he could divorce her).  But information doesn’t automatically lead to transformation.  Whatever emotions these two verses stir up, whatever is in the cobwebbed corners of your shy soul is part of your experience and needs expression.  I cannot resolve or reconcile the hurt you absorbed from church in the past.  I can’t rewind time.  I know that in twenty plus years of ministry, never has a couple come to me before a divorce.  I could again point out that the onus and obligation is on the male here, but sometimes the brokenness (like Humpty Dumpty) is too much.  I feel grief for the damage done to couples who are struggling in relationship.  I grieve those who will never come to church because of these two verses.  I pray that God’s grace and love might help us as a church, as a people, start to find ways to both shine a light on the harm and start to discuss what the sexual ethics are in these days.  May the light of God’s love surround and sustain and saturate all our human-size lives.  Amen.

When the Sermon hits a rocky place

 

 ²⁷ “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ ²⁸ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ²⁹ If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. ³⁰ And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.

 

I read the above words and think, “What in the name of all that is holy did Matthew do with the soft, cuddly Jesus I grew up with?”  I think, “Whoa, Jesus!  Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”  Or, to return to what we discussed yesterday, “Lord, help him!” 

 

Deep breath.

 

Jesus is diving into sexual ethics here.  I want to be clear that Jesus is putting the onus not on women, but men.  We live in a world where our sisters continue to be sexualized from the Superbowl commercials to pageants parading God’s beloved daughters in bathing suits to school dress codes that tell young women their clothing choices are the problem.  The obligation Jesus speaks is for men to keep their sexual desires in check.  Let’s confess to each other that the recent news reports shine a harsh, hard light that our culture does not do this and how men continually disrespect women.  Before we say the problem is “out there”, we know in our UCC, women clergy are paid less than men clergy. 

 

We live in a world where the Victorian sexual ethic is still in the water we drink and air we breathe.  We don’t talk about objectification of God’s daughters, we don’t deal with sex trafficking, we turn a blind eye and often blame women who bring charges against men.  This passage might be 2000 years old, but it is as challenging as it was the day the words fell from Jesus’ lips.

 

I don’t have an instant or immediate resolution.  We need to wrestle with legacies of pain women have suffered.  We need to confess how we cling to “boys being boys” as an excuse of behavior.  Human relationships can help or hurt; there is an energy within us and between us and in the other ~ and we cannot control/change the energy in others.  To be sure, when trust in a marriage is broken due to adultery, it is painful as an eye torn out and hand cut off.  Adultery, emotional abuse, neglect, and the pain we cause each other that violate the vows of love are all hell on earth. 

 

Today, I pray for men and women whose marriage vows and relationships are on the rocks because of adultery.  I pray for the ways we sexualize each other, especially women.  I pray for the ways we fail to affirm the holiness of one another and end up using one another to meet our own desires and demands. 

 

Lord, help us.  Lord, heal us.  Lord, hold us accountable to not dismiss or discount all you call “Beloved”.  Amen.

When the Sermon Hits a Bump

 

In my doctoral cohort, one of my colleagues served an African American Baptist Church.  He educated our group on the power of sermon-talk back.  This is more than just having the people in the pews shout back, “Amen”.  Sometimes the shy soul of the people whispered, “Yes, Lord”.  Or when the church wanted you to say more about the preacher’s particular point, the people might call out, “Preach!”  Or, if the sermon hit a rocky, rough patch and place, where the preacher was over his/her/their skis or going to a place the church did not want to go they might call out, “Lord, help him.”  There are times I long for the sermon to be less monologue and more dialogue.  I wish I knew before the handshake at the door what words falling from my lips touched hearts and souls. 

 

We are about to dive and dwell into dangerous territory in the Sermon on the Mount.  There should be a “Warning” sign flashing for chapter 5:26-48.  I want to be very clear that if you are having a difficult, demanding February so far, you don’t need to push or prove yourself by wrestling with these verses.  Or if you’ve heard these words (especially about divorce) spoken by a pastor or a family member/friend in a hurtful way, causing a wound that has not healed, I am sorry.  Too often, as Walter Brueggemann says, the Bible and the pastor gang up and can be used like a weapon on people in the pews.  We wound one another with words of Scripture.  Please know if you want to talk more about these verses that stretch us, perhaps demand too much of us, my door is open.  Scripture was written in a community (Jesus is preaching to his disciples) for a community to be read by a community.  Within the Jewish tradition, Scripture is less about rules to obey and more a conversation to enter.

 

While I love scripture, I don’t have all the answers.  I wrestle with Scripture. I especially wrestle with interpretations of Scripture that have and continue to hurt people.  I invite you today, if you would like, to read verses 26-48. 

 

Is there a place you shout, “Amen”?

Is there a place you softly say, “Yes, Lord!”?

Is there a place you say, “Lord, help Jesus” and “Help me, Jesus, because what you are saying is baffling, bewildering, and I want (like Thomas Jefferson) to cut these words out of the Sermon on the Mount? 

 

Note your response and reaction.  Hold what is stirred in your heart, name/notice your emotions from anger to excitement to suppressing a yawn.  Be held by a mystery of God’s wayless way that isn’t only about understanding but also standing under a wisdom that might not make reasonable, rational sense.  Hold what you have heard in previous sermons ~ the good and the painful.  Or better yet, rather than hold it, write it down!  I invite you to begin to process the pain and confusion and struggle ~ not that one week of Morning Meditations will magically solve it all ~ but I pray might be a moment of release and relief.  With God’s love as we enter this tender, fragile soil of Jesus’ sermon with each other. Amen.

Friday Prayer

 

God of words and wisdom that stretch us, sometimes in ways that help us grow and other times like a sweater that can’t return to its original shape/size, be with us.  We long to be salt and confess that our words and actions hurt and harm (pour salt) in another’s wounds.  We long to be light and confess that sometimes our desire for attention and affection causes us to blind others or push others aside so we can soak in the spotlight.  We long to live a Micah 6 life, but that way doesn’t seem efficient or effective, so we resort back to bullying and demanding our way.  We long to forgive, to stop letting anger feed and fuel our lives, but it seems to be the way of the world.  We are caught between who we want to be as well as who we are, which makes it exhausting to plan the day.  Bring us back to our baptism today, that You love us for who we are and who we are becoming.  Hold us today.  Heal us.  And let Your salty zest, light, wisdom, and forgiveness be our guide now and, in the month, to come.  In the name of the One whose sermon stirs our souls and shapes our lives, Jesus the Christ.  Amen.   

Being Honest

 

Like yesterday, today, we are going to chew on a big bite out of the Sermon on the Mount.  Like yesterday, check in with yourself.  If it has been a hard week, you don’t need to push yourself, there is nothing to prove here.  This morning meditation is saved, and you can read this whenever and wherever you are ready.  If you in a place to dive in and dwell in God’s word, take a deep breath.  Take another, letting the oxygen of God sink and settle all the way down to your pinkie toes.  Now, slowly savor these words with me:

 

“You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder,’ and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment, and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council, and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.  Matthew 5:21-26

 

Let’s start with the same questions as yesterday:

What questions do you have about the above words?

What insights do you have?

Where do you want Jesus to explain more because you are confused or curious?

Where are you bored by the words above (it’s okay to admit and accept that this passage didn’t warm your heart)?

Where do the words above feel like truth and where do you resist what Jesus is saying?

 

Now, let’s go a step further, who are you angry with?  Come on, we all carry around a list of people who have stepped on our toes and poured salt into our woundedness.  Who have you called a “fool” …again I have a list!  One note, the phrase, ‘the hell of fire’ might refer to Gehenna ~ a garbage dump in Jesus’ day…while others say that there was no burning heap of trash.  Regardless, there are times in all our lives when things are going to hell in a handbasket, when life is less than perfect or polished.  Hell is not just about what happens when we breathe our last, it is one condition and location of life on earth for many people emotionally or financially or relationally.   There are people who are afraid of hell and people who have and are living through hell.  To be sure, when I am angry with someone there is a loathing that feeds and fuels my life.  Honestly, I keep adding logs to that fire.  I keep finding reasons for why that person annoys me.  It is a living hell to find ourselves residing in a world of constant criticism and yelling and calling each other names…which is why many of us feel so worn down, weary, and burned out today.  Hold this.  Let this be a balm (not salt or judgement or adding ‘shoulds’ to earn God’s love ~ which we can’t) to your broken open life.  Is there someone you need to forgive?  Maybe not to their face, but let go of a bit of the anger today?  Just a pinch of anger?  Hold this.  As always, if you want to talk, because the Bible awakens and alerts us to strong emotions, we need to process with others, I am here.  May God’s love, which is big enough and bold enough, to hold our whole lives, even the tarnished and tattered part, be with you. Amen.