An Easter-ing Faith ~ Worship AND Doubt

 

¹⁷ When they saw him, they worshiped him, but they doubted. Matthew 28:17

 

Yesterday, we noted that our spiritual formation involves both intentionally showing up, but that God can work even when we are not paying attention.  There is a beautiful tension in this reality.  My growth lives in the messy middle of both being active and sometimes happens regardless of what I am plotting and planning.  How might this be true for you?

 

Speaking of beautiful tensions, an Easter-ing faith can apparently hold both worship and doubt.  Best line of scripture ever!!  Here are the disciples standing right before Jesus, back in the flesh, before their very eyes, hearing his voice.  And some are singing, “Christ the Lord is risen today…alleluia!!”  And others are like, “I am just not sure that is really Jesus…maybe I should ask to see his driver’s license just to be sure.” 

 

Wait, what?

 

We like to think, “Oh I totally know when I am in God’s presence.”  This verse allows us to bring our doubts out of the shadows where we secretly hide them.  Not only does Jesus seem to invite back the very people who just deserted him in his darkest hour, now these people are doubting that it is really him!  With friends like this who need enemies!

 

So often we make faith sound so certain.  Isn’t faith supposed to move mountains?  Isn’t faith supposed to keep us, “safe and secure from all alarms”?  Isn’t faith supposed to give us peace like a river to attendth our souls?  Or can faith and doubt live peacefully side-by-side.  As Frederick Buechner said, “Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith.  They keep you awake and moving. There are two principal kinds of doubts ~ one of the head and the other of the stomach.”

 

I encourage you today to ponder prayerfully the doubts in your head ~ the question that roam free around your mind.  What questions sit unresolved withing you?   For me, I question how to live an Easter-ing faith when the world seems so broken?  Can I really make a difference?  I doubt how effective I can be because (as we named yesterday), I can’t change others.  Plus, I am wonderfully creative in my mistake making ~ finding all new ways to bumble and stumble and fall flat splat on my face.

 

Ah, the joys of being human-sized.  The joy of being human-sized reminds me that an Easter-ing faith has room doubt, the two can hold hands (just as fear and joy did on Easter)…and apparently that didn’t bother Jesus one bit.  So maybe it shouldn’t bother you…me…others…and especially the church as much either.  May you and I experience the good news of that truth in our lives this day.  Amen.