Relationships Part 9

 

For the last few weeks, we’ve prayerfully pondered our relationships ~ the Divine dance between “me” and “we” – the movement of ourselves and others.  We’ve noticed and named that we change as individuals, and often forget to tell ourselves.  If this is true about you, then it is also true about me…and all the other “mes” you encounter in the world.  Just as God forms and fashions us for relationships, our connections continue to shape throughout our lives.

 

A few weeks ago, we focused on David and Jonathan and Jon’s dad, Saul.  As my grandmother would say, “Two is company, three is a crowd.”  Or as Family Systems theory states, threes create triangles.  Or as your experience in middle school taught you when friend A told you something negative friend B said about you that set off emotional fireworks in your heart that ruined the rest of your day.  Lest you think we’ve outgrown this…gotten so much more mature or enlightened…go read the comments on social media.

 

It's okay…I’ll wait.

 

Many of the “anonymous” comments show us that we may leave Middle School…but Middle School doesn’t leave us no matter how many birthday candles are on our cake.  This Divine dance between “me” and “we”.  That there is a “we” inside every “me”. 

 

This week, I invite you to learn and listen to John Townsend who wrote a book entitled, People Fuel.  Pause with me on that title because it is a GREAT image!  People fuel and feed us.  We know this.  Some interactions energize us…other interactions drain us or we dread calling that person who drones on and on, but never asks or seems to care how we are doing.  Some people bring a smile, others cause our souls to sag.  This has been true from the beginning of time.  This is part of what is at the heart of all the Scripture stories we are reading this month in church.  David and Jonathan filled each other’s souls, gave life, and energy.  But, David drained Saul’s soul for complex, complicated reasons that Scripture doesn’t detail ~ although throwing a spear to pin that person to the wall is a pretty good sign that the relationship is not healthy.  Or yesterday, we heard how Ruth and Naomi filled each other’s souls.  The Hebrew word is “hesed” which means unconditional, unceasing, and even uncontrollable love.  Hesed usually refers to God’s gaze toward us.  But you and I have people who “hesed” us.  People who fill and fuel our lives with a presence that adds meaning beyond description or definition. 

 

This week I want us to pay attention to our people fuel.  Now you could do this formally by writing down the names of the people you interact with each day.  You can do this at the end of each day, mentally remembering and replaying your relationships.  Too often, we get caught in a story we are telling about ourselves, that we don’t push pause ~ go back ~ try to edit what we are telling ourselves.  For example, I might say something to my wife that initially I taught was funny, she didn’t think it was very amusing, I get frustrated that clearly my gift of humor is being unappreciated, and we begin the downward spiral.  Or I say something at a meeting that I think is insightful, someone else says almost the same thing, the other person gets praised, while I sit stewing in my own un- and under- appreciated-ness.  To replay and review the relationships each day.  Test and try this out today, being present to the people who wander into our lives each day, sharing the journey of the hours ahead. 

 

Prayer: God of relationships that strengthen and sometimes stress us, help us today hold and live the truth that all people are created in Your image.  Amen.