Encountering Joy ~~ take three

Recently I heard Atul Gawande author of the book, Being Mortal, talk about one of the most important questions:

What would be the most perfect day for you?

This is a great question for each of us to answer...first on our own.  Step one: try to silence all the "shoulds" and "have tos" in your mind.  We let a lot of voices ~ other than our own ~ define and describe what joy is.  If you don't want to travel...then let go of leaving your home as a source of joy.  If you would prefer to be alone...don't pack or plan a day with family or friends.  The important words in that question are, "for you".  Not for your spouse...children...friends...others.  You.  What brings you joy is what brings you joy.  This isn't a mathematical formula or some element on the periodic table that has to be consistent across all time/space.  You get to be you.

What is that perfect day for you?

Second...let go of the guilt we can have that we would put ourselves first.  There are many hours in every week....168 to be exact.  Yes...sleeping is for you.  But, to suggest or say that you could have one day - 24 hours (minus that whole necessary sleeping thing)...for you could be an amazing gift.

Third...let go of forcing this to happen.  Nothing drains joy of its generative/gracious power than us saying through gritted teeth, "Now have fun!"  Remember when that would happen on family vacations?  Somewhere in a family album there was a photo of me suspended about 10 feet off the ground on the hand of a giant plastic guerrilla.  The sign at the tourist stop said this was a great photo opt.  My fear of heights...and even more not having an exit strategy when my dad pulled the stairs away...told me..."No, not so much."  So in the photo, I look miserable...tears coming out my eyes... not sure why we kept that Kodiak moment in retrospect.

We can't force joy...joy is difficult when guilt is weighing it down...or when we feel like it is something where we have no choice.

Joy needs freedom to be encountered...experienced...embraced.

So, let's go back to the original question from Monday, what brings you joy? 

It may not take a whole day.

Writing this blog brings me joy.
Eating pizza and ice cream on Friday night brings me joy.
A hug brings me joy.
My family including my dog bring me joy.
Reading...
Walking...
Being in nature.

The point is...what if I set aside one day...directed my energy toward those kinds of activities and experiences?

My hunch is there would be more than a trace of grace soaking and saturating that day.

Blessings ~~