Success take Three

As we have been prayerfully pondering our own understandings of success...what is roaming and rummaging around my mind is a wonderful prayer by Thomas Merton.

My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though
I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

I, especially, love that second line... "I have no idea where I am going"...

Yup.  That seems like a daily truth for me.

I don't always see clearly...I stumble and bumble...fall flat on my face.  I get turned around and confused.

Then, I love that line that in the midst of the confounding and confusing...that the desire to please God DOES please God.

Imagine God delighting in the orientation of our hearts toward God and the good of others/world.  Not because we arrived at some predetermined destination of success.
Not because we have proven ourselves and God awards us with a certificate.
Not because we deserve or earn God's graceful/loving presence.

But because that is who God is.
And who we are in our deepest sense.  That is the desire, to connect with the part of ourselves that is kept hidden because the world is too wild, harsh, and hard to let that vulnerability be exposed to the raw elements.

I invite you to hold this prayer this weekend.

Pray it.

Let it simmer in your soul.

Let the words sit on your tongue ~ to determine/distinguish the taste of each.

Let the truths sink down and see how they sit within you...do they awaken joy or confusion or indifference?

How might this prayer speak to and sing out about the question, what is success, that has been guiding us all week long?

I pray that as we dive together into these waters...there will be more than a trace of grace that buoys us and helps us float in God's presence.

Amen.

Success take Two

Yet whatever gains I had, these I have come to regard as loss because of Christ. More than that, I regard everything as loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.  Philippians 3:7-8

We have been letting the question, what is success, stir and swirl and sit within us.

I pray there have been moments of honesty...heartfelt shining of a light on your life. 

I pray there has been a gentleness not to get caught in the dualistic thinking of either/or.  For example, either pursuing a degree is absolutely right or wrong!!

Again, I am grateful for my education...the experiences...the moments that formed and fashioned me.  And I also realize there is more than book knowledge and arranging my mental furniture or passing a test that matter in this world.

Both/And.

I love this third chapter of Paul's letter to the Philippians.  A quick note here: any of Paul's letters were not written to us...yet we might still find something for us in these words.

Paul starts off chapter 3 by talking about his accomplishments.  His wonderful history and heritage.  How he was circumcised on the 8th day...ouch...and I bet he really doesn't remember that ~ nor would he want to.
How he was part of the tribe of Benjamin...which was the "cool" tribe...like people who can trace their ancestors back to Pilgrims on the Mayflower.  I think my ancestors came over smuggled on a cargo ship escaping England.
How he was a Pharisee...he had the right degree and pedigree.
How he persecuted the church...which maybe he did not want to bring that up to people who he would have persecuted.  It is like talking to a cow about a delicious hamburger only now you are a vegetarian...you think.


Give that last line a second...I think eventually it might be funny.  Or if not, we can move on.

But then Paul turns on a dime in verse 7 and says...well that was all hogwash.  It was all like putting lipstick on a pig.

That is Iowan speak for rubbish.

Yet...I would also want to say/suggest to Paul that who he was made him who he is!

We cannot rewind time or redo the past or take a mulligan on a mistake.

But maybe...in some cases...we wouldn't want to either.

I fully realize there are painful past moments we would not wish on our worst enemy.  Or were caused by our worst enemy!

But there are also moment that through the difficulty I grew.  Through the pain I found new empathy that I didn't have before.  Through processing the pain I arrived at a way of being that would not have been the same if the road had been smooth sailing alongside a chocolate river. 

How can we hold onto who we were and how that shaped who we are...letting that shine a light on our understanding of success?

I pray if we do this...there would be more than a trace of God's grace in our lives in that moment.

Blessings ~~

Success

 Yet whatever gains I had, these I have come to regard as loss because of Christ.  More than that, I regard everything as loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain -Christ  Philippians 3:7-8

It is graduation season...which means there is a fresh crop of well-meaning, advice-giving, platitude offering speechifying going on right now.  It means that people are trying to both congratulate and motivate...and having sat there in a rented gown a couple of times...I not sure I remember most of what people were trying to impart to me.  Perhaps that was because often it is so warm in those graduation gowns...you fan yourself with your program, maybe the air current causes the words to go in one ear and out the other.  Or maybe by that point, it is such a bittersweet moment.  On the one hand, you worked hard for that piece of paper you are about to get...on the other, you are about to leave the familiar rhythm of high school or college.  There are so many emotions swirling and stirring at that moment.  It can also be this awkward moment of sitting next to someone you didn't really get to know over four or three or two years...and your friends are two rows back because they had the audacity to go and have their last names begin with "M"...while you are stuck making small talk with someone you probably will not see again. 

Good times.

Which brings me to a great question from Denise Pope, what is success?

I grew up thinking success was that educational goal.
I grew up given a script that success meant getting a good job.
I grew up believing that 'the good life' was about a house and providing for my family.

Don't get me wrong...those are all good things.  I am just not sure that is success.  I value my education, but in the end it also made me realize how much I did not know and how learning was going to be continual.  I love my job, but that isn't all of who I am or long to be.  I am grateful for the roof over my head and the food on the table. 

But I don't know if that is really what success is all about.

Denise Pope asks people this question, she reports that youth will talk about much of what I just did.  Job.  Money.  Prestige, even power or position. 

But then...

Their parents talk about success as being good people, caring about others, and being content/joyful in life.

There was very classes on those subjects in school.

There are very few good models of that in the world today.

What we read online and in the paper...what we see in so many leaders today is more of the insatiable desire for more...to continually define the world by winners or losers.

Which is it?

It could be both...but that also makes it really tough to plan the day!

Do I keep reading or enjoy the sunny day splashing in the pool?
Do I put in more hours at work or just sit and breathe?
And yes, while I want to do both...sometimes the to-do list is just too long and we need to make choices.

Will you sit with me on this wonderfully insightful question, what is success?

And may there be a trace of God's grace stirring within us as we try to lean into and live out that question.

Blessings ~~

Eight Hundred posts celebration

So this week, I went over the 800 mark of posts. 

It feels significant.  Although, I really thought when I reached this milestone there would be fireworks or cheering or at least someone doing a kazoo solo.

When I started this blog over six years ago...it was a way to get ideas out there into the universe.  I've always wanted to publish a book...and this offered me an opportunity (a prayer practice as I described in the last post) to share with others. 

This summer I will be working on that book that has been patiently/persistently waiting.  I've read enough and heard enough published author's speak that I know the journey will not be easy.  It will take longer than the 10 weeks I have and will extend into the fall...perhaps even winter...maybe more.  I have no guarantee that it will be published.

Except...

I can publish it here.

Starting in late June I will share some of my early drafts.  They will probably be so rough (like sandpaper) you could smooth any splinter on a board with them.  My point and prayer is not to be perfect, but to keep sharing what is in my heart.  My point and prayer is that I can offer every excuse in the book why I shouldn't do this...but something compels me to try anyway. 

The artist within wants to be loose.  The artist wants to go on a journey and bring others along. 

Which reminds me of a poem I just wrote (again rough draft here...we are talking sandpaper).

The squirrel scurried across the electrical wire high up in the air.
With the ease of a circus act and no net.
No fear of falling the some thirty feet to the unforgiving concrete.
Hurrying to some place...just like me.
While I might know my destination,
I was not aware of where the squirrel was heading.

In the tightrope of life...I calculate the drop down with every step.
In the tightrope of life...I want to minimize any stumble...not bumble.
In the tightrope of life...I am probably less concerned about the physically injuries
And more the emotional and spiritual ones from those around me.

Hurrying, scurrying through the day.
I wonder if that squirrel had been there all along?
Has she crossed my path previously?
Has she been dancing daintily across the wire and I just didn't notice?

Or maybe this was the first appearance...and I was fortunate to catch the premier.
And delighted I am because in that moment there was more than a trace of grace...
There was reminder how I might live life so fearless - and one scurrying step at a time.

Blessings

Music of our Hearts

Waves move in patterns. Patterns move in rhythms. A human being is just that, energy, waves, patterns, rhythms. Nothing more. Nothing less. A dance. —Gabrielle Roth

If you hold your Bible close to your ear, you can actually hear a sacred soundtrack pouring forth.

Miriam picks up a tambourine on the other side of the Red Sea and breaks into sacred song and dance about our liberating love of God.

Joshua leads a marching band around the outskirts of Jericho with trumpets blaring and blasting to cause the walls to come a tumbling down.

David played what we think was a lyre and it would soothe the troubled soul of Saul.

Mary pregnant with the possibility of being the God-bearer lets loose with a solo worthy of any singing competition on television today sending shivers and goosebumps down our arms.

Our Bible is less some history book and more of a Broadway musical.  There are sound vibration that resonate and reverberate from every book of the Bible.  And those hymns invite us into the holy.  This is true not only of the Hebrew Hymnal we call the Psalms, but also other places in the pages of Scriptures.

Have you ever been in a group where people sing in a serious and somber way?  There is no spirit...the walls of our hearts do not tumble down - might even be bored.  How about when someone is pouring out energy and every note seems to come from the soul?  Now I am leaning forward in my chair...listening to the story being told note by beautiful note.

What if, the poetry and hymns of the church are continually being created because God isn’t finished with us yet?  What if, God is really a conductor and composure of life?

That would make this moment right now part of the melody.  Maybe right now (since you are staring at a screen) the sound of the symphony called, "Your life" would be muted or quiet.  Or maybe you are in such agreement with what I am writing that you are shouting, "Hallelujah!"

I can only hope you are not in a coffee shop where everyone is looking at you now.  But if you are, hey, you do you.

Which leads me to the question, what song is on repeat in your mind and heart and body right now?  What do you hum or sing to yourself?

Part of the power of music is that it is incarnational - it is embodied in its best sense.  Music enters in through our ears...but doesn't stay there.  Good music (however you define that) is what moves our whole lives.  Why to you think people tap a toe or sway or close their eyes when music is happening around us?  Because something is happening IN us.

So, go play that song that is saving your soul right now.  Feel free to blare and blast it...

Again...unless you are at the coffee shop, I'd wait until you are alone or with someone who doesn't mind that you are singing along.

And I'll share one that offers more than a trace of grace right now for me.

Surprised by Joy

I am walking out to my car the other day, when this jacaranda tree caught my attention.  I was taken by the brilliant, bright orange...as if the tree was crying out, "Look at me!  Look at me."  I know this photo doesn't do justice to the beauty on full display.  Here is a close up of one of the branches.

I am still not sure that the vibrant-ness of that tree was captured and how captivated I was by its glory. 

We need moments in our life that stop us in our tracks.

We need moments when we are surprised by joy.

But so often in the blur and busyness of life...we can race and run past.

When I took this picture I was heading from one appointment to another.  I could have said, "Oh how pretty," with just a passing, cursory glance...letting the moment breeze by.  

Yet, I decided to stop and take a couple of photos of this tree, I believe, in full prayer to God.  

What is that you say, "Tree don't pray?"  Tell that to this jacaranda tree, if you dare.  

We have this confined notion of prayer where we have to bow our heads...fold our hands... mumble some words in monotone.  No wonder people want to leave prayer up to the so-called professional prayer-ers...aka...pastors.  What if prayer and practice were more alive?  If prayer is the invitation to be fully awake to God...listening for the song of God and looking for the glory of God in such a time as this...then, for me, stopping to take a photo is a prayer practice ~ and a faithful one too.

Walking with my wife as we process our day ~ prayer practice.

Petting my dog before I leave for work ~ prayer practice.

Asking my kids how their day was...listening...really listening ~ prayer practice.

I believe the mystics who say that God shows up disguised as your real life.  God, who is incarnate ~ self-empties ~ into Jesus the Christ (and each of us too) ~ then life - yours and mine - are one of the ways we can encounter and experience God.  

Pause for a moment ~ look back in the rear view mirror pondering where God showed up in your midst over the last few days.  Name it...claim it...celebrate it.

If it is a moment you are fully awake and aware of the sacred-ness - it is prayer.  The practice part is trying to stay in the state of awareness and awake-ness as much as possible.  

It isn't easy.

Nor is hitting a baseball hurling at you at 120 mph.

Nor is playing an instrument.

Nor is learning about which plants will thrive where - so they can be alight just like that tree.

We practice to improve.  

No one ever is a perfect prayer-er...just like every baseball player strikes out - every basketball player misses shots - and sometimes our flowers don't take for a variety of reasons.

To practice.

To keep our hearts ready and open.

To take a moment to notice and name the traces of grace around us.

That is my prayer for you this week.

Blessings  ~ 

The Frame

Putting a frame around life can be a great way to focus our attention.  So much of what we encounter every second of every day is overflowing with messages and meaning...our brains are on over load.  In a second moment I step outside, I can put a frame around so many things.

While it focuses...it also limits ~ feel free to go back and read the post on Monday about paradoxes.  Don't worry...I'll wait.

Frames can limit because something is being excluded...not part of the picture.

Yet, you and I have to do this all the time.

I frame my sermons...editing out certain ideas that in the first drafts seemed so insightful and now seem to not be as amazing as I thought.

I frame my day...there is only so many hours and some things I simply cannot do.

I frame when I am out on a walk with my wife.  She will notice something on the sidewalk or in the sky she has put a frame around that I have totally missed...and sometimes can't even see when I do try to put a frame around it.

Frames are a part of life.  And to connect with the blog post on Wednesday, it is a spiritual practice to frame the good parts of life as a way to counter the negativity bias that is woven/wired into our brains.

So pause with me...what have you framed this week?

In your relationships?
In your volunteering?
In your life?

What might be just beyond the frame...outside of it...that might also be holding more than just a trace of God's grace?

It is my prayer those questions cause your heart to stir and soul to swirl this day and in the days to come.

Blessings ~~