Serenity Prayer Part Three

I thought I had wisdom when I turned 16 and was given the right to drive a car.
I thought I had wisdom when I was accepted to college, ready to conquer the world.
I thought I had wisdom when the seminary handed me a piece of paper with my name written in bold fancy letters.
I thought I had wisdom when I stood up to preach for the first time.

My knees knocking;
My stomach swirling;
My mind whirling;
My heart pounding;
I was a mess.

The wisdom was not in the words I said;
Or the paper it was written on;
Or the ideas I sought to share;
Or from a committee who said it was okay to call me, "Reverend."

No the wisdom came from the weakness; vulnerability; and my inabilities.
The wisdom was in the uncertainty that hung around ever word that still falls from my lips every Sunday.
The wisdom was in the mystery when my voice cracks like a 16 year old.
The wisdom is in the "maybe" and "possibly" and "do ya think"...
For in those words, I give You space, O God, to move and dance with delight.
I give you, the one reading this blog, the space to respond.
I give me the permission that I don't have to be Super Spiritual Answer Man,
I can be me with all my beautiful insecurities.

So that wisdom is not what I know, but a willingness to say, "Let's go explore together."
May that desire guide me all the days as I draw near to Easter this year.

Amen.

Serenity Prayer Part Two

Like the Lion in the Wizard of Oz, I need more than quart of courage today.
In a world of constant comparison and clinging to control and complaining...I need courage to go another way.
Your way, O God.
Courage to simply be, rest...in the face of voices clamoring that to rest is to rust.
Courage to speak rather than staying on the sidelines.
Courage to accept that I am beloved regardless of what comments I hear today.
Courage to change...myself/how I see others/how I respond/how I live and move and have my being.
Courage to admit I was wrong...which might be the best trait of a leader.
Courage to be forgiven and to forgive for the dynamic relationships with my family say that posture is truly love.
Courage to know that I don't know everything.
Courage to quit keeping track of scores on the spreadsheet of life.
Courage to know that in the end I rest in You and if I am not in You, it must not be the end.

Courage...seven letters that take a life time to be embraced by...for the truth is we are all etched and embraced by You, O God.  For You showed courage when You continue to craft and create life around us and within us.  And courage to let us take our time to discover that true conviction never forces or feels threatened by freedom...courage simply speaks acceptance in change and admits forgiveness is the pathway to knowledge.  May I never quit walking that way, O God, I pray.

Amen.

Serenity Prayer Part One

God grant me serenity...peace...shalom...wholeness.
God grant me, because I can't find it on my own.
The peace cannot be purchased and doesn't come packaged.
It isn't found even at the bottom of this ice cream container or with the swipe of the credit card or all the other ways I am constantly and continually told I might find it.

God grant me serenity...peace...shalom...wholeness.
Because I cannot control or cling to this promise, this gift, this presence of You.
Even though the church has tried for ages.
Even though we have parceled and preached that we have the answers.
Even though all our words fall silent when truly in the presence of You, O God.

That is peace which surpasses understanding.
That is serenity which swirls where it will...like the breeze from two days ago.
That is shalom and wholeness, because I realize I am fully loved and called to love fully.

So, I need peace especially in the face of things that I cannot control.
All the scenarios swirl around of what might be awakening unease.
All the voices that clamor for me to "lead" and "succeed" and "keep on climbing...don't question."
Because if I stop midstream...or mid-sentence, what kind of blog post would that be?

God grant...because I cannot.
God grant me...because I need You every hour of every day.
God grant me serenity...because it flows forth from you.
God grant me serenity to accept what I cannot change.
Those ten words are enough for me to live and lean into today.

Amen.

Breeze

The wind whooshed and wrapped around me
While it weaved through the palm trees causing them to wave.
The wind tickled as it touched my skin,
Just as the sun warmed my face.

For a long time the wind has been seen as a sign of the sacred.
Invisible and yet such a real part of life.
Known and yet unknown.
The wind reminds us that we do see in a mirror dimly.

There is so much we think we know and can measure.
How fast the wind goes;
Which direction it blows;
And patterns it might follow.

And yet, there is more mystery than we care to admit.
We cannot really predict when a strong breeze will almost knock us off our feet;
Or why sitting here in the sun with the wind whirling around me feels like the best day ever.
And yet, there it is.
And here I am.
And suddenly the words, "Grace" and "Peace" have entered time and space of my life.
And I give thanks.

Amen.

Washing my car

This afternoon I went to wash my car.
The tire slid onto the track squealing and squeezing into place.
Slowly the mechanical belt lurked my car forward.
Water blasted all around,
Soon soap came down like manna from heaven.
Pieces of sturdy clothe bounded off the car,
I guess washing away the dirt,
while I sat silently in my car staring out the window.

What if washing away the broken and battered pieces of my life was so easy?
Sometimes we make church out to be a weekly car wash.
But like my car where the grime and pollen of the world quickly congregate,
So too for my soul.
No I need something from God more than a quick soul cleanse ever week.
I something from God more than a drive thru or a filling station.
I need a grace to sustain
when the muck and the mud fly around.
I need a love to strengthen
when the world gets too much for me.
I need a presence that promises to stick around
when the messiness of life stirs and swirls around.

I need this more than once a week or even every few weeks.
The hymn writer was right,
"I need thee every hour!!
Most gracious God...
Come quickly and abide"
Don't leave...and help me not leave you.

Abide...that is what a quick car wash can't provide.
Abide is at the heart of who God is and where God promises to stay.
Even, especially, in the messiness of this one precious life.

But now the trip through the car wash is done.
Yet, maybe the truths I learned on the ride won't vanish so quickly.
So I pray.

Grace and peace ~~

Theme Song

Remember that scene in Saturday Night Fever where
John Travolta is walking down the street?
Where the music is playing and he struts with each step?
Makes me wonder what is my theme song right now?
What notes are strutting next to me as I stroll through life?

Is my theme song..."It is well with my soul"
Or "In the Bleak Midwinter?"
Is my soul singing out to a God of grace and glory...
Or echoing Jesus on the cross...My God...my God why have you forsaken me?
Am I singing out with full voice...or barely muttering the words, almost inaudible?

If you had to pick a theme song for Lent,
What would it be?
Don't feel confined or contained to a section of the hymnal,
Flip through the pages,
Let the words wash over you.
Sing out the words.
Whisper them to yourself, so you can barely hear.

The church isn't the only one who gets to pick the sacred music.
You don't need to be limited to the ones in worship.
There are too many great hymns and we cannot be confined by what we sing on Sunday.
Search.
Sing.
Until your soul stirs and swirls.
Saying, "Yes!"
"Yes...these words, this melody...God is here and I did not even realize it."

Pick a theme song.
Because if it is good enough for Saturday Night,
It is good for every night and day of our lives.

Grace and peace ~~

P.S.  I have been singing "It is Well with My Soul" this week to myself.  You can click below to see a video of it.

Peeling Sweet Potatoes

The peels flung and flew across the counter,
with each sweep of the knife sliding across.
Like confetti at a party,
Each peel sailed to freedom.
The pile of skins grew larger and larger.

As I sliced and diced, I wondered,
What in my life needs to be swept away like a peel?
Are there vulnerability that I keep hidden from God,
that if the tough, rough exterior was peeled back,
I might be seen for who I really am?

Am I willing to let God work on my soul in such a way?
Am I willing to be stripped clear of the skins of
Control
Competence
Clinging to being in charge...
Am I willing to release and reveal that which is beneath the surface

Or would I rather stay hidden to
Others...
God...
Myself?

They say every ten years you completely have a new layer of skin on your body...
A complete resurrection slowly, steadily taking place before our very eyes...
Yet, day by day we rarely see the subtle changes.
To look deeply in the mirror and see something beyond the
Bruises
Bad spots
And hairs sprouting out of weird places...
And I am no longer sure I know if I talking about potatoes...or my very life.

But I pray this week, God would reveal for me the core of who I am...
And whose I am.
For that would be even sweeter than the potato I am eating.

Grace and Peace ~~