One Good Book

 

One of my favorite books I read this last year was The Fix by Ian Morgan Cron.  The book is about the 12-step process that is the foundation of many recovery programs.  What I found so compelling and convicting was that Cron says that addiction is a feeling of “dis-ease, dissatisfaction, inquietude, and not at home-ness”.  I can have a roof over my head and food on the table and still feel queasy and uneasy and wheezy at the state of the world and of my own soul.  We are all, in some ways, spiritually unhoused.  Cron goes on to list some of the many ways we turn to external answers for this internal struggle.  Read the list slowly and notice where you hear your shy soul cry out.

 

We are all addicts to control, internet, work, relationships, people pleasing, alcohol or drugs, drama, video games, sugar, sex, social media, perfectionism, status-seeking, suffering, sports, plastic surgery, tattoos, Netflix, shopping and spending, love, rage and needing to be right, having to fix, approval, lying, caffeine, nicotine, worry, compulsive helping, exercise, dieting, knowledge, gambling, money, security, self-improvement, vacations and adventures, productivity, God and religion…

 

Cron’s point is that all of us try to frost over the burnt cake of life; we are all searching for that which can help soothe us, save us, and sustain us.  Where did you feel like Cron was reading your diary above?  I know I can turn to people-pleasing behavior, I am prone to overwork, approval, worry, and compulsive helping as ways to quiet my monkey mind.  As James Baldwin wrote, “Not everything that is faced can be solved, but nothing can be solved until it is faced.”  Addiction is not only for those who turn to alcohol to quiet the restlessness…but also for all of us who race and run off with our cape fluttering in the wind to save the world.  As my professor in seminary said, “The world already has a Savior, and it ain’t you.”  Ouch, but true.  As we turn toward the holidays, we know that the stress-o-meter in our souls can be notched up to max volume.  The voices shouting to go to one more party, be charming, make people laugh, bring the right hostess gift, sip more eggnog, and don’t forget to get a gift for your pastor (that is a joke by the way!).  Notice where you might be trying to work out your own salvation by relentlessly turning to something to numb the pain.  For today, offer those places honestly and vulnerably to God, who knows and loves and holds you always.  Remembering, nothing ~ not even my compulsive helping ~ can ever separate you or me from the love of God.  Amen.