In-between where we are and where we long to be

 

In his book, The Expectation Gap, Steve Cuss lays out three places where humans can feel disjointed, dissonate and disheartened.  They are:

 

1           We say we believe in the love of God, but don’t always feel that love.

2.                     We say we believe in the presence of God, but have moments of disconnection from the divine.

3.                    The disappointing self-assessment that we thought we’d be further along by now.

 

As you look at the list above, which do you gravitate toward?  I see parts of myself in all three.  There are moments that I don’t always feel the love of God.  Partially this is because of a false understanding that God’s love should (note that word) protect and provide; shelter and shield me from all alarms and harms.  In other words, if things are not all roses and chocolate rivers, God must not love me.  But you and I know that love is a vulnerable force.  I love my family more than words can express, but I can’t stop bad things from happening to them.  No matter how much I want to lock them in their rooms, surround them with bubble wrap so that they don’t get bruised by this broken world, that isn’t much of a life.  In some ways, the same is true of God’s presence.  If I equate God being for me and with me as me getting my way, then there are going to be moments when the sharp shattered shards of life cut at me.  If the evidence of God’s presence is only things/life going according to my plotting and planning, of course there will be a gap between what I believe and experience.  The more we explore these gaps, the more we shine a light on where our logic isn’t as rock solid as we think.  Of course, I won’t always get my way, to think otherwise is selfish and even narcissistic.  Of course, God is going to show up in ways that baffle and bewilder me because that is the story in scripture time and time again.  I can’t contain God like some organized sock drawer, God is God.  Finally, many of us have adopted an economic model of spirituality.  That our faith always needs to be growing, making improvements, getting more of the market share.  But faith is fickle and fragile, will take one step forward and five steps back.

 

Cuss suggests that one way we can stand in the gap between our believe about God and our experience of God is to cultivate micro habits of slowing down to savor God’s presence.  Micro habits are activities that take just a few moments to do but can leave a lasting, lingering impression on our heart.  For example, one micro habit of being open to God for me is petting my dogs.  First, they remind me of unconditional love.  Second, my dogs are always desiring a good belly rub.  As I feel their floppy ears and soft fur, I see their contentment, and I sense the connection, I stand in the gap between belief about God and experience of God.  Or a micro habit can be listening to music as an expression that sings to my soul, especially if it is discovering a new song.  Or holding my wife’s hands or texting my kids a funny meme.  These don’t require me to check into a monastery or spend hours on my knees in prayer, but for a few fleeting moments I feel God’s nearness in ways that renew my faith.  I pray your heart now is considering some micro habits you can both name and do this day and throughout this week.  Amen.