Read Matthew 19-21
In Jesus’ day
there were two great rabbinic traditions created by two famous rabbis. There was Hillel and Shammai. The rabbi’s job in Jesus’ day was to
interpret the laws for the people of faith and help the people stay in
relationship with God…I dare say some of that still holds for pastors
today. How do I help you connect to
scripture, let scripture author your life, and create a safe place for you to
open your soul to God? That is the
question that drives my ministry. Hillel
was a bit more liberal in his interpretation of Scripture. Hillel said, “That which is hateful to you,
do not do to your fellow. That is the
entire Torah (or law of God), and the rest is commentary. Now go and study”. In that quote you may hear the seeds of the
Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you from Matthew
7. Shammai was a bit more by the
book. He was concerned about humanities
ability to really know and do good. This
remains true today. Do you think
humanity can really save ourselves when left to our own whims? There are those who tend to have a higher
view of our human abilities, those who tend to focus on human flaws. Where are you on that spectrum? Do you think that traditions should be conserved,
maintained, respected? Do humans have the
capacity to craft new ways of thinking and living?
Of course, all
this is a false choice in some ways. We
are both. We may vote for expanding
human rights, only to insist that our grandmother’s tablecloth be used at
Easter because we have always done it that way.
Or we may think that humanity needs to be reigned in, but want liberty
for us to do what we want, when we want, how we want. We are all a messy mixture. All this is a set up for Jesus’ teaching on
divorce. Jesus usually sided with Hillel
on many issues of the law. Don’t want to
wash your hands, fuhgeddaboudit, it’s what comes out of your mouth that defiles
you. Concerned about healing on the
Sabbath, be more concerned about the hurting in your midst. But, in Matthew 19, Jesus takes Shammai’s more
traditional teaching. This could be
because Hillel said you could divorce your wife if she burnt your
breakfast. Or maybe Jesus was concerned
that we might all begin to think, “Laws, we don’t need no stinking laws.” That is until we all try to drive down the
highway! To be sure, I don’t think this
makes these words easier emotionally. I
know many people who are divorced who are deeply wounded and hurt by how
Matthew 19 has been used to blame and shame them. I know many faithful people who were in
emotionally and physically abusive relationships that needed a divorce. I know many people who married one person and
woke up eighteen years later next to another person ~ who said it was okay for
your spouse to change? We hold the tension
with Jesus that marriage is a covenant, a vow, between two people before
God. This vow is elastic and can
expand. The vow is woven with love, but
it is a love that needs to be tended. In
our humanness, we can hurt those closest to us.
In our humanness, we can drift away from someone we deeply loved,
perhaps not even intentionally. Or our
spouse can drift away from us for reasons unknown to him/her. In our humanness, we don’t always tend our
relationships ~ but can take them for granted as we race and run off chasing
the gospel of success. Yet, when we make
a vow to another, to break that vow will be painful. To be sure, the church needs to be careful
and prayerful not to cause more woundedness and in no way encourage people to
stay in relationships that are harmful or abusive. How do we tend the vows that bind us and
sometimes confine us? This is not
only a question of marriage, but of the church.
In our traditions, to be a member is to covenant with each other. We say to people who are new, “We love you
and we long to grow with you.” While
love is easy, people are hard. We have
porcupine like quills that can make it difficult to get close. For my brothers and sisters who have sought a
divorce, please know you are God’s beloved.
There is nothing you can do that can separate you from
God’s love. Nothing means nothing. I believe that the divorce was painful and
hurtful and you don’t need me adding to that emotional baggage. In the end, I wonder who do I think I am
trying to explain Jesus to you? In the
end, if you want to talk more, I would long to hear your questions and thoughts
and hurts. In the end, I long for you to
experience God’s love regardless of who you love. May this gospel truth work in your life even
when we read parts of the good news that don’t sound so good to everyone. Amen.
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