Love God, Neighbor, and Self

 

How did your charting go yesterday?  Did you jot down ways to love God (like taking a walk in creation); love others (when you wave at your neighbors on your walk or slow down to talk and catch up); and love yourself (by resting intentionally and prayerfully).  I encourage you to continue this prayer practice this week. 

 

Rather than take the three invitations to love God, neighbor, and self in order, we will go in reverse, starting with self-love today.  How can you show yourself compassion and care?  Perhaps that is a hard question, especially for anyone who was raised to believe you put yourself last.  Or perhaps you were told to be careful not to get a big head.  Or you are concerned that you might come across as narcissistic.  We wrestle with how to love ourselves sometimes, especially because we can be our own worst critic.  Plus, we have a few people who love to serve as “editors” in our lives.  There are always people who want to offer you an opinion on what you should do, must do, and have to do!  There are people who try to fix or advise or save you.  When sometimes all we want to do is have someone listen.  And many days we wrestle with ourselves.  This reminds me of a beautiful ancient story found in Genesis 32:22-28.  Read now these words slowly, savoring, and letting the story connect to your story:

 

²² That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. ²³ After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. ²⁴ So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. ²⁵ When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. ²⁶ Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

²⁷ The man asked him, “What is your name?”

“Jacob,” he answered.

²⁸ Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

 

First, I have had my own Jacob-like moments.  Alone at night, at 3 am, wrestling with some fear or frustration…some anger or anxiety.  I often find that anger is tied to the past and anxiety is creating fictional problems for the future.  Anger at what happened earlier that day or that week or at some point in the past.  I reply, repeat what someone said or did or didn’t say or didn’t do or some mistake or miscue I made.  Anger demands a rewind button and wants to play that broken moment on a loop.  Anxiety loves to weave what-if scenarios.  Anxiety says, “If you write that in the morning meditations, people are going to talk.  And not in the good way of trending on social.”  Anxiety says, “Watch out, be careful.  Maybe you better wait.” 

 

I wonder, what are you wrestling with today?  Perhaps personally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually?  I wonder where would you like God to bless you?  I wonder where you are limping in these early days of 2022 (because we all thought this was a new year and a new me ~ only to find the old me is still hanging around). 

 

Let this story search out your story for connections.  May the God who can be found in the wrestling and weariness and worn-out-ness of life bless you as you seek to love yourself, others, and God this week.  Amen.