God's Calling ~ Naming our Fears

 

Yesterday, I invited you to make a list of places/topics/events/experiences about which you are curious and fascinated.  I encouraged you to set aside your inner critic; to silence that voice that wants to say, “That’s silly.”  To name bravely, boldly, faithfully what your shy soul wants to explore.  In some ways your list is where your heart wants to dive deeply, think of your list as soul spelunking. 

Now, I want us to be honest, as Moses, Jeremiah, and Jonah were, about the fears and concerns you have.  This may sound counter intuitive.  You may think, “Wait, you just said to silence my inner critic!  Now you want me to let Mr. Bossypants loose.  Make up your mind!!” 

I get it.  Yet, there is a flow to what I am suggesting.  First, we open our hearts honestly to honor what is stirring and swirling.  This is what you did yesterday was a brainstorming activity ~ or soul surging moment.  You noticed where the energy within you was flowing toward.  In those moments of trying to listen to our shy soul, we don’t want our internal editor to chime in too quickly.  To quote the show Ted Lasso, “You don’t bring an umbrella to a brainstorming session.”  You want to get our curiosity out in the open, set your fascinations loose.  The quicker the better.  Often when I am trying to listen to my shy soul, once I open the space, I can’t move my pen quick enough across the paper.  And, if I pause, that might just be enough room for the inner critic to look over my list and start to point out the flaws. 

First, we try to open a safe place for our shy soul, then walk away ~ as I pray you did yesterday. 

Then, next, we can say to that Roger Elbert/Gene Siskel to share their thoughts.  We want to be careful here.  Reflecting on possible pitfalls and risks that are a reality in exploring our curiosity is holy ground.  Just because you have a fascination and to explore that, doesn’t mean it will be easy or without challenges.  Your concerns can have an important voice…just not the only voice.  Please re-read that last sentence!  Before you return to your list of curiosities and fascinations, I want to invite you to pray.  I invite you to breathe.  I invite you to give thanks.

Here is one prayer you might say to yourself: “God who crafts and creates with words, thank you, for opening and engaging my imagination.  Thank you for this list of where I sense energy in my life flowing like a river.  Thank you for this world with its endless experiences and encounters.  Thank you for my life which I long to reflect Your creativity in each day.  Be with me, God.  I am about to take the next faithful step and like Moses asking, ‘Who am I to do that?’  Like Jeremiah recognizing his youth.  Like Jonah honoring his inner-child that just didn’t wanna to go to Nineveh.  Alongside my thanksgiving for what is life giving, there is honest trepidation and some trembling.  What if I mess up?  What if my photography, learning French, painting, teaching, or thing I long to do fumbles or even, fails?  I give thanks that within my calling there is place both to celebrate and share concerns.  Help me, God.  Continue to be with me, guiding me in this next step.  Amen”

Now, be honest about the concerns you carry for your list of curiosity.  Maybe it is that you won’t be successful.  Although, remember it takes Moses ten tries of going to Pharaoh for the first step of liberation and forty years of wandering.  Remember, Jonah gives a half-heart sermon whilst smelling like a fish to the people of Nineveh.  I am saying this intentionally, because the more we can laugh with our honest fears, it helps.  We say to our concerns, “Yes, that is true, I might not make money.  In fact, this could cost me money.  But, I can’t explain it.  I just need to do this.”

May your soul spelunking today go a bit deeper into the caves of concerns, enter into the darkness, trusting that God who inspired your imagination yesterday will continue to do so today.