Jonah take Five

In the last post we ended with letting this truth sit and sing to our souls:

Prayer is less about what we do, rather how we do it.

The more Jonah's prayer sits and sings and settles into my soul, I start to realize that it really isn't about him.  Whether his prayer came from his heart or was an attempt to get out of the pickle of a situation in which he found himself, the deeper (even harder) point is that I can find myself in the belly of the whale.  I can feel like I am swallowed by a situation.  I can feel gulped by a grouper of trying to do it my way.  I can find myself in a fishy situation and unsure of what to do or where to turn. 

In the belly of the whale is a place we can find ourselves physically when we face illness; we find ourselves there emotionally grieving someone we love; we find ourselves there spiritually when maybe a prayer practice that always felt full of light and love suddenly feels like you are going through the motions.  The belly can refer to the somersaults your stomach does when having to face that person.  Pause for just a moment to consider where those belly moments have been in your life.

This part of Jonah reminds me of a book by Richard Rohr entitled, Breathing Under Water.  Rohr takes the twelve steps of Alcoholic's Anonymous and lets these steps loose for all of us to benefit.  The first step, if you know about AA is to admit we are powerless.  Jonah certainly realized he was not in constant control and the same can be said for each of us too.  We can’t stop cancer, we can’t cease children dying of hunger, we can’t alone clean up the toxicity that hovers, hangs in the air we breathe.  In those moments, we begin to name and notice our deepest desires and surrender.  I recently read that grief is not giving up it is leaning into the pain.  As you continue to work the remaining 11 steps of AA, you hear the truths that teach, tell us the time has come to put our stones down.  For hands clenching stones can’t freely drum.  And hearts fisting the past can’t freely sing.  Like those in AA, you realize we are all living life one day, one moment at a time. 

To be in the belly of the whale gives us the time and space to lean into, learn from our lives.  To be sure, it may not smell great.  To be sure, there are lots of places we might rather be.  To be sure, we might come out of the experience never touching seafood again.  But, when we find ways to forgive, to release, to let go, to admit we are not as in control or in charge as we like to believe, and to find a new way of living, might be our most honest, heartfelt and sincere prayer we ever uttered offering us more than a trace of God's grace.

Blessings ~~