Grief

17 For Herod himself had sent men who arrested John, bound him, and put him in prison on account of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, because Herod had married her. 18 For John had been telling Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.” 19 And Herodias had a grudge against him, and wanted to kill him. But she could not, 20 for Herod feared John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he protected him. When he heard him, he was greatly perplexed; and yet he liked to listen to him. 21 But an opportunity came when Herod on his birthday gave a banquet for his courtiers and officers and for the leaders of Galilee. 22 When his daughter Herodias came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests; and the king said to the girl, “Ask me for whatever you wish, and I will give it.” 23 And he solemnly swore to her, “Whatever you ask me, I will give you, even half of my kingdom.” 24 She went out and said to her mother, “What should I ask for?” She replied, “The head of John the baptizer.” 25 Immediately she rushed back to the king and requested, “I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter.” 26 The king was deeply grieved; yet out of regard for his oaths and for the guests, he did not want to refuse her. 27 Immediately the king sent a soldier of the guard with orders to bring John’s head. He went and beheaded him in the prison, 28 brought his head on a platter, and gave it to the girl. Then the girl gave it to her mother. 29 When his disciples heard about it, they came and took his body, and laid it in a tomb.  Mark 6:17-29

This story speaks of political power moves and the people who are treated like pawns that get caught in the middle.  Herod is not exactly remembered as the best leader ever.  He did expand and improve the temple, but financed that capital campaign on the backs of the Hebrew people and their pocketbooks.  He was constantly afraid of someone taking his power that he actually had two of his own sons put to death.  John the baptizer challenged him and we know what happens when you try to speak truth to power?  Sometimes you find yourself in a cell staring out of iron bars. But Herod also knew he had to play his cards right.  John the baptizer was a popular prophet.  He had attracted many people out to the Jordan, the symbol of national pride and reminder of how their ancestors had passed through the Jordan into the Promised Land.  

Then in comes Herodias, his daughter, whose dancing sends these powerful men into a tizzy.  They are so enamored that they promise her whatever she wanted.  After asking her mom, they demand John's head.  Now Herod is in-between a rock and a hard place.  On the one hand, John's death could cause the zealots of the day to rise up.  On the other, he promised in front of a lot of powerful people.  What to do?  What to do?  Herod rolls the dice and has John put to death.

It is a gruesome story that sounds more like something from one of the Godfather movies rather than the Bible.  Of course, this is a reminder that the myth of redemptive violence has always been part of the culture.  In many ways, Good Friday, is Jesus attempt to stare this myth of violence in the face and say, "No more".  No more do we need to stand for the one with the loudest voice controlling our lives.  No more do we need to believe in divisiveness.  No more do we need to let our young daughters buy into a photo-shopped understanding of beauty.  No more does manhood need to mean flexing your muscles.  And yet, even as we refuse to stand silent, we know that the realm of God is not fully established in our world.  

The next verse says that Jesus is deeply grieved.  I believe it.  John was his friend.  John was the one who cradled him in his arms that day Jesus was baptized in the Jordan.  According to Luke, John was Jesus cousin.  Their messages were similar.  Jesus' heart was heavy.  Grief is a reality in our world.  And the other reality is that we don't know how to grief.  We think that three days off for your parents' death...that is fine.  We think six months after everything should be back to "normal" or at least the one who is grieving should "put on a happy face".  A year later, we expect the whole grief moment to be a distant memory. 

But for those who dwell in the season of grief there is pain...often times confounded and complicated by the truth that very few want to dwell with them in that season of grief.  There is an attempt to reconstruct identity, which is tough work no matter what age we are.  There is an attempt to live with the unanswerable question, "Why".  There is so much that needs expression and it seems like only tears fall from the person's eyes.

I don't know if grief necessarily needs information, but it does help to have a community.  Jesus tries to go away to a deserted place with his friends.  His insides feel barren, so he goes to a place where there is barrenness.  We need space set apart and space together.  We need to cry and laugh and simply be.  We need a grace that can be found in countless different ways...but we also need to be intentionally spontaneous.  Intentionally spontaneous plots and plans but leaves room to pay attention to what is in front of you.  Grief is hard work.  

If you know someone who is grieving...chances are good you do...I encourage you to listen.  Listen, even if you are uncomfortable and don't have answers.  There is no solution...because grief is not a puzzle to be solved...it is part of the mystery of life.  I pray that if you are in the season of grief, you will sense more than a trace of God's love...and if you are in another season you will reach out and be a trace of God's love to someone who is struggling and living with loss/death/grief.

Blessings ~