Anger

You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.  Matthew 5:21-24

We continue to explore Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, I am struck by this passage.  I am struck that first of all Jesus does NOT say, "Don't get angry."  I think sometimes in the church we have given the implicit or even explicit message that anger is always bad.  And so, we tend to repress and push down anger...which we all know is really healthy and NEVER ends poorly.  Yeah right.  Every time I try to convince myself that I am really not that angry, that I should love that church member...you know the one...I just delay the inevitable.  Unfortunately, I also tend to take out that frustration on those closest to me.  Richard Rohr says, "Pain that is not processed is passed along."  I agree with that, it rings true from my experience.

I am also struck by the fact that Jesus is upping the ante here.  It is no longer enough to say, "Well I never murdered anyone"...even though I treated that person as though she or he was dead to me.  "Well I did not do any physical damage"....even as our words or sarcasm or silent stares wounded just a bad beneath the flesh.  Jesus challenges us to reconcile and to do so before we take an offering.  You might now understand why this passage is NOT preached on very much in churches today... the offering totals might be down that day.

I appreciate the challenge to reconcile.  Yet, I also know realistically reconciliation takes time.  That offering might have been left by the altar for years on some of the issues in my life.  I also know realistically reconciliation is not always an option...at least not immediately.  I think of issues of domestic violence and other crimes, where it could wound the victim more if the accused came to reconcile.  So, although we preach lofty sermons forgiveness, it is tough, difficult work of our lives.

That is not to suggest we should all shrug our shoulders, give up, and reconcile with a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.  There are some places where many of us could reconcile.  I have had people close to me die without ever reconciling.  That is tough, difficult place to be.  I have had church members leave without ever a chance to say, "I am sorry."  That is a tough, difficult place to be.  And I also have had those hard conversations Jesus is pointing to in the above passage.  Conversations where I need to own my own stuff, say "I am sorry", see that the words I used went awry and caused unintended pain.  In those moments, after the tears and the words upon words and the silence and the coming together and finally hugs shared at the door...I know the following Sunday in worship there was a JOY...a deep JOY.  The songs were easier to sing and the prayers were deeper and the offering of my whole life to God felt more in harmony with God's still singing voice.  We should not allow one of those experiences to trump the other.  Both have a place in our lives...neither is the full truth.

I pray you will think about places of anger in your life...and who you are angry with...is reconciliation possible?  Why or why not?  And most of all, I pray this will offer a chance, a window for a trace of God's grace to move in your life.

Pax and blessings ~