Psalm 118, Take Two

Psalm 118
10 All nations surrounded me;
    in the name of the Lord I cut them off!
11 They surrounded me, surrounded me on every side;
    in the name of the Lord I cut them off!
12 They surrounded me like bees;
    they blazed like a fire of thorns;
    in the name of the Lord I cut them off!
13 I was pushed hard so that I was falling,
    but the Lord helped me.
14 The Lord is my strength and my might;
    he has become my salvation.
15 There are glad songs of victory in the tents of the righteous:
“The right hand of the Lord does valiantly;
16     the right hand of the Lord is exalted;
    the right hand of the Lord does valiantly.”
17 I shall not die, but I shall live,
    and recount the deeds of the Lord.
18 The Lord has punished me severely,
    but he did not give me over to death.
19 Open to me the gates of righteousness,
    that I may enter through them
    and give thanks to the Lord.
20 This is the gate of the Lord;
    the righteous shall enter through it.

The psalmist begins by trying to be self-sufficient and reliant.  Surrounded and fearful, the psalmist lashes out and wants to solve the problem by cutting at those around.

Three separate times, the psalmist tries to respond with violence and by verse 13, the psalmist admits that he is falling... and it is then that he senses the Lord's presence.

I find that to be true in my life.  I try to control everything and yet I feel the sand slipping through my clenched fist.  I try to pre-plan and pre-package everything and yet things don't work out like I think they should.  I recently heard that worry is about our fears for tomorrow, fears that we will fall on our face.  The speaker said we should not worry about that, because chances are good that we will fall on our face, especially if we are trying something new.  Maybe that does not sound like good news, but for me that holds an important truth.  No matter how much we try to control the media and spin of any event, at some point there will be a miscue or misstep.  And if we get so wrapped up in our plans or frustrated at how this could happen, we might miss the trace of God's grace even in falling.  The psalmist tells us there is grace in falling.

During Holy Week, in the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus prayed, "If it is possible, let this cup pass.  But Your will, not mine."  Often we think of God's will as some pre-ordained or powerful force.  I actually am coming to sense that God's will is often a weak force.  Something that will take us in unexpected directions and in ways of justice, peace, and love; which is often very counter-cultural today.  God's will doesn't force us, God's will invites us into the party with hope that we might respond.  That doesn't mean we won't fall or falter, but it does mean we might sense God's presence there.

It is after falling that the psalmist senses he is entering into God's gates and into God's presence.  The falling was not a death...perhaps a death to the psalmist way of thinking and his sense of wanting to be in compete control.  But it did not feel like death, to the psalmist rather it felt like life.  That is the way of the cross too.  The way of the cross shows us our brokenness.  Not so that we can feel like worms and less than human, but so that through the cross we might own that we are not as perfect as we like to present to this world.  There are bias and brokenness within each of us.  By admitting that to ourselves and to God, we open a space for God to move and breathe.

I invite you to be part of the Palm Sunday parade this year in your faith community.  To sit at the table on Maundy Thursday.  And to face the cross on Holy Friday.  In doing that we might feel ourselves letting go of our need for constant control and trusting in the traces of God's grace that can be found there.

Blessings!