Holy Week part 5

Click here to read Mark 15:29-39

Some reading this devotional may have experienced a Holy Friday service that went from noon to 3 pm based on this detail from Mark’s gospel. Often during those services the passages of scripture we’ve been considering for the last several days were slowly read, several choir anthems would be offered and several sermons from various clergy in the community would be preached. It was a time to center ourselves in real and raw emotions of the cross. To hear Jesus exclaim, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?” is still echoed in the shorter question many have asked: “Why me?” Why does my car break down when I am running late to a job interview? Why do my kids act out when everyone else’s kids are perfect angels? Why do I have to work with that person? Why did I get that news from the doctor? “Why?” is one of the most heartfelt, honest questions we can ask. “Why me?” is also one of the most difficult questions to answer.

Partially this is because we don’t just want some logical, linear, rational answer. We don’t want to hear that our car did not start because we have been putting off changing the oil for a thousand miles… at least we don’t want to hear that in the moment. Partially the question, “why me,” is difficult to answer because sometimes there are no logical, linear, rational answers. We cannot explain why a healthy person gets cancer or Alzheimer’s disease. We cannot explain why after years of trying to promote equality, people still hate and discriminate. We cannot explain because we don’t know everything. And sometimes, even if we know something, it does not always mean our words or actions will follow what we know to be true.

Example: I know that at the center of my faith is love and claiming that everyone is a beloved child of God. That is at the core of what I try to live out as a minister. Yet, it is hard to love a church member when I feel unfairly criticized for something. It is hard to love a church member who sees the world differently than I do. So, how do I reconcile that tension and brokenness? Do I still see myself as loving, even when I roll my eyes? Do I see myself as loving when I get frustrated? Sure! But I also recognize that as humans we are complex, three dimensional people, just like Judas and Peter and the centurion today who confesses his faith at the foot of the cross.

The centurion is fascinating because here is a Roman official, like Pilate, but because of what he experiences, I would suggest, his life was never the same.

What experiences, both good and bad, have forever shaped your life? Maybe it was being married or divorced. Maybe it was having a child. Maybe it was a trip overseas. Maybe it was a job. Maybe, and I really hope at least once, it was a worship service or something connect to the faith. Painful and unexplainable experiences shape us. Joyful and indescribable experiences shape us. Life shapes us. That is why we tell stories about what is happening to us. We share a part of ourselves with someone else and in telling that story we are sharing meaning.

So, my active prayer today is to listen to stories. Listen to the stories you share about yourself. Listen to the stories someone else tells you. Listen to heartbreaking stories. Listen to joy-filled stories. Listen, listen, listen and hear the still speaking voice of God in those stories. Amen.