Grief

I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears;
I drench my couch with my weeping
Psalm 6:6

This week I have two funerals on two consecutive days. This is unusual for me. But, it gives me time to think prayerfully about how we do and do not deal with grief in our world.

Most of us are uncomfortable with grief. This is in spite of the fact that every single day we encounter moments of loss and the grief that comes with it. Often these are little things. Maybe we notice that our body is not healing as quickly as we'd like. Maybe we are facing a job transition. Maybe we notice that our kids seem older. Maybe we see a co-worker retire whose wisdom we always appreciated. Maybe a friend moves out of the community. Then, of course, there is the grief we sense when someone passes from this life into the next.

The psalms are full of honest emotions in response to heartfelt grief. Especially the one listed above. Another translation of the passage is that the psalmist bed is literally afloat in his tears. It can feel that way. Often it is in the night when the emotions we spent all day trying to push down finally find their way out in the form of tears or exhaustion or even frustration we direct at those closest too us.

Even if our own life feels calm right now, we need only turn on the television to see images of violence and bickering or brokenness that might also cause our hearts to well up with grief. When you don't allow space to recognize the grief for what it is, when you don't allow your heart the opportunity to express that grief, you know that sooner or later you can no longer push down the emotions.

I am grateful that the psalmist spoke these words. I am grateful that in trying to work my way prayerfully through two funerals this week I ran across these words. I encourage you to get out your Bible and read the whole psalm. Think about some of the places right now where you feel like you have lost something. Think about some places right now where you feel like you have gained something new. Think about where the traces of God's grace might be found in both.

For me, God is found when we gather to celebrate a person's life, entrust that person to God's everlasting care and then go eat Jell-O salads and cookies together. For me, it is found when I notice my kids are older and I notice while they don't need the same care they did two years ago, they still need a dad. For me, it is found when I name aloud and ask for God's strength to sustain me in the midst of honest, heartfelt grief. I pray you will sense the traces of God's grace this day and throughout the week to come.

Blessings and peace.