25 Years in the Making

 

We live our lives in the meantime, the in-between time, the luminous liminal time of things ending and beginning.  On the day after my ordination, on the day before September 11^th, on September 10^th, I remember we had dinner with friends from the church.  We laughed; we shared stories about the past and excitement for the future.  Gina and I were moving out to New Hampshire to serve my first congregation.  I was excited and scared.  Excited to share all this knowledge I had, but scared because there was so much I didn’t know how to do on my own.  Sure, I had led worship, but not every week!  Sure, I had helped with funerals and weddings at my internship, but never by myself!  Sure, I had visited people and prayed with them, but now I had this title, “Reverend” (and don’t forget about that piece of paper in a frame I could hang on my wall to show the world I was legit).  It felt like I was 16 and given the keys to my parents’ car.   

 

After 25 years, there are quite a few dents, scratches, and accidents my car of ministry has been through.  My ministry car has a bumper with so much duct tape that it is hanging on for dear life; the mileage in my car of ministry increases every day, the tires are worn and have been replaced, and the engine doesn’t vroom or zoom the way it once did.  Yet, the scenery is never the same.  Each day holds new adventures that are not on my agenda.  Ministry is lived neither here nor there.  In the meantime, the in-between time, the liminal time of grieving what was and trying to anticipate what will be, is at once both the greatest joy and deepest demand of ministry. 

 

Where in your life are you living in the meantime, the in-between time ~ something new that has begun and something from the past that you still carry?  Where do you feel like something is not what it once was but not quite what it could be?  That question covers a lot of my life, not just the last 25-years.  I am not the same person who was ordained in Iowa 25-years ago.  I am not the same person who shoveled snow in Wisconsin.  I am not the same person who preached his first sermon out in New Hampshire.  As you ponder the past this week approaching Friday, 9-11, consider the moves you’ve made, the leaps of faith you’ve taken, and the slow, steady, turtle-like progress you’ve embarked upon over the last 25 years.  What has shifted, what is shifting, what do you pray to God never shifts or changes?  Hold these questions and the mystery that is your one wild and precious life.