Sounds in Your Soul

 

Yesterday we explored the rhythm of your life.  Today, I want you to listen for the dynamic ~ that is the intensity or volume of life.  To be sure, we live in a world that is stuck at fortississimo (that is extremely loud that hurts not just our ears but our souls).  We are blasted by blaring words and actions that are harming each other and God’s creation.  Everyone keeps turning up the volume on social media and people with platforms who are only concerned about the number of clicks ~ not their character.  When the world around us feels sforzando (that means suddenly forced, abrupt, fierce ~ I know it is like a music theory class this week!) ~ that does something to us in our minds, bodies and especially souls! 

 

Where are those moments you get caught or cling to the shouting, screeching, piercing with pulsing notes of life that are going by in a blur?  Where do you bring the dynamics of life down a notch to mezzo forte (that is the default dynamic level of equilibrium that your soul longs for).  Do you ever find a space and place for pianississimo, so soft the only sounds are audible to the ears of your soul?

 

Just as the rhythm of life matters, so do the dynamics.  God is calling us to explore the range from so soft as a feather drop to moments when we life every voice to sing so heaven rings.  We need moments where the peaceful violin strings reverberate and resonate fading softly as well as times for the bass drum to boom to get our blood flowing.  Too much of one dynamic, just like too much one note, makes not only for a boring symphony, but life.  Pay attention to the sounds around you and within you.  Pay attention to the moments of quiet rest when it is only your breath.  Pay attention to others who decree and demand you must play their way!  Remember God is the Conductor and Composer of the unfinished symphony of this last day of April.  Amen.

Pace and Rhythm

 

How did yesterday go?  What sort of symphony did you hear coming from your mind, heart, soul, body and the others around you?  Right now, it can feel like my life is lived in a series of demisemihemidemisemiquaver notes (by the way, I did not make that up!  It is an actual musical note that means two hundred fifty-sixth note ~ that is a note that goes by so fast it is a blimp, a blur that can barely be heard or held.)  We live life in such a series of notes racing and running up and down the scale that our minds spin and hearts race, we keep pushing ourselves convinced that if we can just keep up, all will be well, until we fall exhausted (physically, emotionally, spiritually) into bed at night for a restless sleep to wake up the next day already feeling behind. 

 

Good Lord!

 

What are the notes on the page of your life?  Look at your calendar.  Where are the whole notes that are held out in a sustained way?  Where are the half notes that are played?  Where are the measures (not just brief breathers) of rest?  Look at your calendar.  Is it so full that days spill into the next in a blur?  Maybe it is so blank with too much rest?  Where are those energizing eighth note moments that stir and swirl with energy and where are those moments followed by rest for your soul to catch up?  Or are you living a series of demisemihemidemisemiquaver notes (who knew you would learn a new word today?).  Listen to the rhythm of your life today and how that impacts and leaves an impression on your life.  May our Composer and Conductor call us back to a tempo that fills you with grace and love.  Amen.

Unfinished symphony

 

Karl Rahner once said: “In the torment of the insufficiency of everything attainable, we finally learn that here in this life all symphonies must remain unfinished.”

 

Pause and hold the profound and prayerfulness of that quote.  Part of what Rahner is shining a light on is the gap in life between where we are (here) and where we want to be (there).  Of course, who said you had to be there?  Who said that there was worth your time, talent, and treasure?  Where is there?  Is there about stuff in your life?  Is there experiences (that destination vacation to an exotic location)?  Is there relationships?  Is there some utopia or where the color commentary in your mind keeps telling you that you should be by now?  What about here, can you describe and define where you are right now?  You know that can mean emotionally, spiritually, physically, relationally, and communally.  There is an “insufficiency” of life that causes the symphony of you and me and we to be forever unfinished.

 

This week, I want you to listen to the symphony of your life.  Is it in a minor or major key right now?  Are the instruments that are playing in your soul on the same page, or does it sound like those moments when everyone in the orchestra is warming up, just doing their own thing, and it is chaotic?  Is the music of your soul loud or soft, in tune or screeching like a cat that just had its tail stepped on?  Or is it all the above?  Because my soul can feel chaotic even as I try box breathing (breathe in four counts, hold four counts, slowly exhale four counts, pause four counts).  My soul can be frantically spinning like a hamster on a wheel ~ but going nowhere, while my mind keeps rationally saying, “All shall be well.” 

 

Today, think about the music of your life right now, the symphony of your soul, the holy hum of your heartbeat.  Listen, write down what you are hearing, and remember that the One who is the Conductor and Composer of your life is longing for you to wake up and pay attention to the baton to be in touch and in tune with the Holy here ~ even when “here” is tragically beautiful and insufficiently holy imperfect.  Amen.

Eastering Faith Part 5

 

Eastering God roll away the stones that block us and are barriers we have built against each other.  Eastering God awaken us to where we have become frozen by fear and hatred and stand guarding our own agendas, like tombs.  Eastering God surprise us in ways we cannot control or comprehend and turn our lives upside down.  Eastering God as the jellybeans disappear and the Easter dinner leftovers are used up, don’t let the mystery and marvel of Your new life do the same.  Invite us to find new ways to be Your people in these days.  Help us be Mary-like witnesses, help us let go of clinging to our theologies and opinions, help us stay open to an Eastering way of life that will not conform to the gospels of this world that keep saying our worth is based on the balance of a bank account or political party or religious membership.  No, let Your belovedness ground and guide our living every day for the rest of the year.  In the name of the One who is risen and risen indeed in the present tense today!  Amen. 

Eastering Faith Part 4

 

Today we turn for the fourth time to Matthew’s version of the resurrection.  I hope something today surprises you that even though we are hearing this again (like a repeat of a TV show you’ve seen before) there is always a new detail that was hidden there in plain sight the whole time. 

From the Common English Version

 After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to look at the tomb.  Look, there was a great earthquake, for an angel from the Lord came down from heaven. Coming to the stone, he rolled it away and sat on it.  Now his face was like lightning and his clothes as white as snow. The guards were so terrified of him that they shook with fear and became like dead men. But the angel said to the women, “Don’t be afraid. I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified. He isn’t here, because he’s been raised from the dead, just as he said. Come, see the place where they laid him.  Now hurry, go and tell his disciples, ‘He’s been raised from the dead. He’s going on ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there.’ I’ve given the message to you.”   With great fear and excitement, they hurried away from the tomb and ran to tell his disciples.  But Jesus met them and greeted them. They came and grabbed his feet and worshipped him.  Then Jesus said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Go and tell my brothers that I am going into Galilee. They will see me there.”

 

What jumped out as unique in the words above?  What surprised you in this translation?  What felt like sandpaper to your soul?  For me, it was verse 8 because that defines and describes my soul right now.  I have great fear and excitement.  My fight, flight, freeze, flock, fawn have been in overdrive, probably since 9-11.  We continually fan the flames of loathing and the strange exhilaration that goes with that emotion.  Social media, religion, politics, economics, and structures around us feed on the negativity, even as we lament the brokenness to each other, we sometimes fail to see our participation (and benefit) from the status quo of shattered systems.  Rob Bell says that we complain about traffic when we are in traffic, not realizing that we are part of the problem!  Same for negativity, we return to it like a traffic accident we gawk at even as our heart breaks and soul aches.  Eastering our life recognizes that what is broken open (like a tomb) is also the very place were God can enter and resurrect our lives in new ways.  Where is your life been split open by a faith-quake recently?  Perhaps you are frantically trying to superglue the sharp shard pieces back together.  Where have you become frozen like the guards in the story?  Where does fear and excitement stir within you?  How can we share that with each other?  For it is sharing of the good news that we embody and live our Eastering faith in these days.  Amen.

Eastering Faith Part 3

 

Let’s turn to a third translation of Matthew 28:1-8.  Before we read, take a deep breath and slowly let it out.  Breathe in the One who longs to “easter” your life with good news ~ that may not instantly and immediately make everything better.  Remember, Caesar was still in power when the sunset on the first Easter evening.  Remember, Caesar stayed in power as the disciples went forth sharing Good News, as Paul wrote letters, as the early church sought to live the Eastering truth that in Christ there is neither male nor female, Gentile nor Jew, slave nor free.  Paul said that centuries ago and we still struggle to live this truth in the church today!  Breathe in and out…and slowly savor the Easter narrative a third time from the Message translation:

 

After the Sabbath, as the first light of the new week dawned, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to keep vigil at the tomb. Suddenly the earth reeled and rocked under their feet as God’s angel came down from heaven, came right up to where they were standing. He rolled back the stone and then sat on it. Shafts of lightning blazed from him. His garments shimmered snow-white. The guards at the tomb were scared to death. They were so frightened, they couldn’t move.

The angel spoke to the women: “There is nothing to fear here. I know you’re looking for Jesus, the One they nailed to the cross. He is not here. He was raised, just as he said. Come and look at the place where he was placed.

“Now, get on your way quickly and tell his disciples, ‘He is risen from the dead. He is going on ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there.’ That’s the message.”

 The women, deep in wonder and full of joy, lost no time in leaving the tomb. They ran to tell the disciples. Then Jesus met them, stopping them in their tracks. “Good morning!” he said. They fell to their knees, embraced his feet, and worshiped him. Jesus said, “You’re holding on to me for dear life! Don’t be frightened like that. Go tell my brothers that they are to go to Galilee, and that I’ll meet them there.”

 

What stood out for you today in the words above?  Where has your experience and life found being an Easter person too demanding and difficult, especially today?  I wonder what the disciples first thought of the women’s testimony?  Did they tarry in Jerusalem to ponder if they should leave, listing the pros and cons?  Or did they race out of there to Galilee once they heard that Jesus was going to meet them there at a secret location destination?  How do I respond when I sense God is nudging me?  Does Jesus have to conform and contort to my way (which is to say my control?).  Can I let Jesus be Jesus ~ which means I will be surprised and shocked and I don’t have it all figured out?  Where are there faith-quakes happening right now?  What does the word, “faith-quake” evoke or provoke for you?  How might that be how God is doing a new thing?  Note that everything was definitely not neat and tidy after the first Easter and I dare say it has never been that way in the church!  Eastering faith is confusing and contradictory and challenging and joyful and playful and prayerful and so much more.  Notice and name what is stirring within you as we let the Easter story gospel (by with I mean write) the story we are telling ourselves and the world in these days.  Amen.

Eastering Faith Part 2

 

This week we are returning to the Easter narrative from Matthew 28 to let it sink and simmer and sing to our souls ~ my prayer is that these words will inspire and infuse you to “easter” your life as more than a day but a way to be, especially in such a time as this.  In some ways, returning to the Easter words as stores deeply discount jellybeans on clearance, is counter cultural and faithful Slowly savor these words from the Voice translation:

 

After the Sabbath, as the light of the next day, the first day of the week, crept over Palestine, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to the tomb to keep vigil. (notice this translation tells us why they went ~ do you agree?  It is okay to object and think, “No, the Marys went because they had heard Jesus’ teaching about resurrection and wanted to witness to this possibility and promise!)   Earlier there had been an earthquake. A messenger of the Lord had come down from heaven and had gone to the grave. He rolled away the stone and sat down on top of it.  He veritably glowed. He was vibrating with light. His clothes were light, white like transfiguration, (note the reference to Jesus’ transfiguration) like fresh snow.  The soldiers guarding the tomb were terrified. They froze like stone. (notice in this translation there is no reference to the guards being like dead men ~ that might take away the irony that the powers that be guarding the dead have lost their authority).

The messenger spoke to the women, to Mary Magdalene and the other Mary. (I love that this passage is clear that the women are entrusted with the good news AND you and I are entrusted too to live this truth.  That is what it means to “easter” our lives.)

Messenger of the Lord: Don’t be afraid. I know you are here keeping watch for Jesus who was crucified.  But Jesus is not here. He was raised, just as He said He would be. Come over to the grave, and see for yourself.  And then go straight to His disciples, and tell them He’s been raised from the dead and has gone on to Galilee. You’ll find Him there. Listen carefully to what I am telling you.

The women were both terrified and thrilled, and they quickly left the tomb and went to find the disciples and give them this outstandingly good news. But while they were on their way, they saw Jesus Himself.

Jesus (greeting the women): Rejoice.

The women fell down before Him, kissing His feet and worshiping Him.

Jesus: Don’t be afraid. Go and tell My brothers to go to Galilee. Tell them I will meet them there.

 

What jumps out as unique?  What surprises you from above?  What feels like sandpaper to your soul in this translation?  Remember, all translations have human fingerprints.  We are not reading the Bible in the original language; we have translations of translations.  That isn’t to discount or dismiss, I believe people are trying with their heart to offer faithful and loving versions of scripture ~ but all reflect our humanness in beautiful and broken ways.  Let this version of the story stir and simmer and saturate your life this day.  And may you find ways to be the good news and easter your life today. Amen.

Eastering Faith Part 1

 

Christ is risen!  He is risen indeed!!  Alleluia!  Easter is more than one day, it is a way of life.  How do we “easter” our lives?  Does that question sound strange to use “easter” as a verb?  Let this interrupt (playfully and prayerfully disrupt) your life.  Maybe your inner English Teacher is yelling, “Objection!  You cannot take a noun and turn it into a verb!  What would Shakespeare think!”  Deep breath.  Part of Easter is turning the world upside down or right side up.  Reminding us that God’s ways of resurrection – Christ returns with wounds and women are anointed as the first apostles.  Hear in this truth, God never played by the so-called “gospels” of Caesar or Adam Smith or your company’s employee handbook.  God offers a different way.  Rewind and remember what we heard yesterday in church, slowly read, reflect, and savor these words.

 

From Matthew 28:1-10 NRSVE

 

After the Sabbath, as the first day of the week was dawning, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb. (What do you think they expected to see at the tomb?  How you answer that question may say more about you than the two Marys). And suddenly there was a great earthquake, for an angel of the Lord, descending from heaven, came and rolled back the stone and sat on it.  (When was the last time you experienced holy awe and felt the earthquake under your feet/soul/life ~ note this could be good new or bad news ~ because at this point in the story, the two Marys are unsure themselves!)  His appearance was like lightning and his clothing white as snow.  For fear of him the guards shook and became like dead men. (I love the playfulness here, that the very ones who are put there by people with power to guard the dead body~ now appear dead.  Hold the tension here because Caesar still clings tightly to power, but his structure is being undermined right beneath his nose ~ this echoes Christmas where God subversively enters as a baby born in a barn)  But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid (what fears do you have on this Easter Monday?), for I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified.  He is not here, for he has been raised, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples, ‘He has been raised from the dead, and indeed he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him.’ (To have an Eastering faith is to live the good news the angel gave to the Marys AND still speaks to us!) This is my message for you.” So they left the tomb quickly with fear and great joy and ran to tell his disciples.  Suddenly Jesus met them and said, “Greetings!” And they came to him, took hold of his feet, and worshiped him.  Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers and sisters to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

 

I pray today you might find a space where you encounter the risen Christ.  This experience may not be splashy or spectacular.  I don’t expect angels to descend, but I do know there are moments when goosebumps or God bumps race and run down my arms each day.  Pay attention to those holy ordinary moments as places God is eastering your life (I know it still sounds funny to use easter as a verb, but stay with me).  May the One who is stirring and swirling in our lives surround you as we continue to celebrate God’s new life at such a time as this.  Amen.

Silence

 

God, Your holiness hums and hovers in our life, especially this past week as we entered Your story of holy week.  We sang with the crowd, "Hosanna," which means, "save us".  We still sing that word with our soul because there are places, we need Your love to hold us and make us whole.  We pray for physical aches and pains, for those on hospice care, living with cancer, recovering after surgeries and hospital stays.  We pray for the emotional aches we have individually and communally.  We sat at the table with Christ on Maundy Thursday letting the story of broken bread and poured out juice meet us in places and people where we you’re your grace now more than ever.  Your story of how Jesus was betrayed, deserted, and denied connect to our world right now where anger and fear are emotions we feel.  We prayed in the garden with You, knowing well the words, "Let this cup pass from me."  This cup of overwhelm and exhaustion, not knowing what to do.  And we have cried the words, "My God why have You forsaken and forgotten me," with Christ from the cross.  And we will sit in silence with the messiness of Saturday today where resurrection and renewal seemed impractical and impossible.  Resurrecting, Eastering, Holy God move afresh and news in April in the hearts and lives of those who have the whole Holy Week experience in their life right now.  Resurrecting, Eastering, Holy God let Your love be a thread we feel woven into our hearts, lives, and relationships in this day.  All this we pray in the name of the One who we long to celebrate tomorrow with anthems sweet.  Alleluia and Amen.   

Before the Cross

 

The Spiritual we will sing at noon today mournfully asks, “Were you there when they crucified my Lord?”  And I answer, Yes.  Not literally or historically speaking, but I am here right now the morning after another shooting at a school where my children attend, causing my heart to break and frustration at our collective normalizing of gun violence.  I am here right now as we constantly critique each other on social media with keyboard courage and venom dripping from words that belittle others.  I am here right now as racism, sexism, homophobia continue to be used by those in power to separate and segregate our shared humanity ~ pitting one against another.  I am here right now as we bomb our way to peace.  I am here right now, in the shadow of the cross, because we still scoff at love as some snowflake (so-called ‘woke’) way of living life.  Yet our shy soul cries out for the very thing we mock ~ to be loved, to be heard, to be held in community.  I am here right now, in the shadow of the cross, that treats creation as a means to a quick profit, just keep drilling because we won’t be here when our grandchildren must deal with the consequences.  I am here right now, in the shadow of the cross where hatred and money are powerful gospels we all listen to and live from.  I am here right now still praying, “Hosanna”, still asking God to save me from myself, from others, from a world that I cannot control or comprehend.  Good Friday didn’t just happen, it is happening now.  I pray you will join me at the foot of the cross today at noon today to be honest about the heartbreak and soul ache.  To bring your human-size life with its pain ~ physically, emotionally and spiritually to be met by God who doesn’t swoop in like Mighty Mouse to save the day or Wonder Woman to lasso the truth, but God who sighs and dies and breaths God’s last breath on a cross to show us, teach us through an action of self-giving love.  I believe only a suffering God can save us because it is in that suffering where God meets us ~ not to magically make everything instantly better…but with love that holds us in the pain.  God’s holy love that never lets us go.  I pray I will see you at noon today.  Amen.   

Weep Bitterly

 

Tonight, we will gather at Christ’s table where there is a place set for all and plenty of room to spare.  Tonight, we will break bread together on our knees.  Tonight, we rewind the story just a bit, because what we’ve been reading happens after the disciples push back from the table and go out to the garden with Jesus (see Monday’s morning meditation).  Hear now these words,

 

Then the high priest tore his clothes and said, “He has blasphemed! Why do we still need witnesses? You have now heard his blasphemy. What do you think?” They answered, “He deserves death.” Then they spat in his face and struck him, and some slapped him, saying, “Prophesy to us, you Messiah! Who is it that struck you?”

Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. A female servant came to him and said, “You also were with Jesus the Galilean.” But he denied it before all of them, saying, “I do not know what you are talking about.” When he went out to the porch, another female servant saw him, and she said to the bystanders, “This man was with Jesus the Nazarene.” Again he denied it with an oath, “I do not know the man.” After a little while the bystanders came up and said to Peter, “Certainly you are also one of them, for your accent betrays you.” Then he began to curse, and he swore an oath, “I do not know the man!” At that moment the cock crowed. Then Peter remembered what Jesus had said: “Before the cock crows, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.

 

I weep bitterly with Peter because I know this story didn’t just happen, it is happening.  I weep bitterly with people whose lives are shattered and scattered by actions of system racism and legislation dripping with hate.  I weep bitterly for creation that we continue to see as a means to wealth rather than a wealth of God’s creativity to be honored and exist in harmony with.  I weep bitterly for ongoing violence, the idea that we can bomb and kill our way to peace.  I weep bitterly for the hatred we have of each other.  I weep bitterly for our inability to see that our lizard brain (fight, flight, freeze, flock, fawn) has taken over the steering wheel of our so-called “enlightened minds” and has ruled the roost ~ perhaps since September 11, 2001.  Will we be called a generation of those who thought we knew so much, but denied the pain of so many?  Will our grandchildren lament that problems we hand them as we shrug our shoulders and say, “Not my problem now”?  Will our inability and unwillingness to let our faith write our story because the gospels of money and power and privilege have always been the narrative we really cling to?  Will fear be our legacy?  Come tonight with your beautifully broken self to the table.  Taste your own brokenness in bread and then a cup of grace that you did not earn.  Grace is not some frosting on the burnt cake of our lives, grace is who God is.  Grace is not something God does, but the way God seeks to reconcile and repair a world hell bent on destroying itself.  Come tonight to continue the narrative that isn’t about the past but speaks to our very present moment in ways we need to hear now more than ever.  Amen. 

At a Distance

 

Our Holiest Week continues with these words:

 

Those who had arrested Jesus took him to Caiaphas the high priest, where the scribes and the elders had gathered. But Peter was following him at a distance, as far as the courtyard of the high priest, and going inside he sat with the guards in order to see how this would end. Now the chief priests and the whole council were looking for false testimony against Jesus so that they might put him to death, but they found none, though many false witnesses came forward. At last two came forward and said, “This fellow said, ‘I am able to destroy the temple of God and to build it in three days.’ ” The high priest stood up and said, “Have you no answer? What is it that they testify against you?” But Jesus was silent. Then the high priest said to him, “I put you under oath before the living God, tell us if you are the Messiah, the Son of God.” Jesus said to him, “You have said so. But I tell you, From now on you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of Power and coming on the clouds of heaven.”

 

Where do we stand at a distance from our faith like Peter?  Where do we observe church rather than seek to be church?  Where do we sit prim and proper in the pews on Sunday only to leave behind the words of the Sermon on the Mount as good advice for someone else?  Where do we pray, “Thy kingdom come,” even as we plot and plan our own fiefdoms that we rule over with an iron fist of opinions, money, agenda, my right to have it my way?  To be sure, I get if you’d rather watch puppy videos on YouTube than answer any of these questions.  Yet, the power of Easter resurrection is found in confronting our death denying and dismissing culture.  Death is not just when we breathe our last, it is a thread and theme through life.  Each day we grieve.  Each day we name the pain that persists without a remedy.  Each day we are called to see the very ones we are willing to sacrifice for cheaper labor to cut our grass, roof our houses, process our food and wash the sheets at the hotel where we go on that destination vacation.  We are Peter standing at a distance watching as people are treated as less than God’s beloved.  Open your heart and life to a story, Gospel Medicine of this holiest week.  Amen.

Betrayed with a kiss

 

Yesterday, we prayed with Jesus in the garden.  We slowed down, to a donkey’s gait/pace, to let scripture soak and saturate into our bones and souls, and sing to our beautifully broken lives.  Today, I invite you to hear these heartbreaking and soul aching words:

 

While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the twelve, arrived; with him was a large crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “The one I will kiss is the man; arrest him.” At once he came up to Jesus and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed him. Jesus said to him, “Friend, do what you are here to do.” Then they came and laid hands on Jesus and arrested him. Suddenly one of those with Jesus put his hand on his sword, drew it, and struck the slave of the high priest, cutting off his ear. Then Jesus said to him, “Put your sword back into its place, for all who take the sword will die by the sword. Do you think that I cannot appeal to God, and God will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the scriptures be fulfilled, which say it must happen in this way?” At that hour Jesus said to the crowds, “Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest me as though I were a rebel? Day after day I sat in the temple teaching, and you did not arrest me. But all this has taken place, so that the scriptures of the prophets may be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples deserted him and fled.

 

Betrayed with a kiss…we all have that story in our heart.  We can be betrayed by gossip or a partner cheating/hiding/lying and keeping their shadow side from us.  We can be betrayed by systems meant to protect and defend us (this includes: the church, place we work, police, schools, government because all are human institutions).  We can be betrayed by our families.  We can be betrayed by the way we treat ourselves.  And when we do, our brain ~ that fight or flight part ~ goes into overdrive and we start swing swords like the disciple above.  We swing swords of words online to score points on an imaginary scoreboard of life.  We swing swords of political power.  We swing swords of religious pietism that we want to show we are the “true” believers, and “they” are the hypocrites.  I may not own an actual sword, but I have been known to try to cut off an ear or two in my life nevertheless through my words and actions.  When have the above words been your story?  When have you fled or hid in fear?  Right now, we know that beloved children of God who are here in the United States and work difficult and demanding jobs (that most of us would never want or do) are hiding in fear because they don’t know if their paperwork is enough, or God forbid, they do not have paper work at all.  We are poor students of history to see that we are again repeating the past of blaming the immigrants for all the problems that have vexed us forever.  Save us, O God, for we cannot save ourselves.  We continue to worship at the altar of vitriol and venom.  We continue to worship, not a God of vulnerable love, but one who “wins” ~ whatever that means ~ and by any means necessary.  Save us, O God, for we cannot save ourselves.  The power of Holy Week is that it didn’t just happen as a historical event, it continues to happen right here and now.  We are living this story, and it is still authoring our lives ~ individually and collectively.  Save us, O God, for we cannot save ourselves.  Where are you swing swords in the name of shalom ~ peace?  Where are you fleeing from others because it is easier to hate from a distance?  Where are you betraying others and yourself?  These are not easy questions, but they are the ones we prayerful seek to answer as we approach the cross, God’s love crucified on Friday.  May these questions break open your heart and soul and life to God whose cross-shaped love longs to re-author your life/story.  Amen.

Keep Praying Hosannas ~ Save Us

 

Yesterday we sang, “Hosanna,” which means, “save us.”  This one word might feel like sandpaper to our cultural soul because we believe, worship/sacrifice, at the altar of self-sufficiency.  We preach a “gospel” of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.  We idealize the myth of being self-made ~ you may want to touch your belly button right now to remember you exist because your mother carried you for nine months ~ you are because your parents were/are.  Where does the word, “Hosanna” fall from your lips this morning, stir your heart, swirl in your soul?  Save us.  I think right now of people in our culture who are losing their jobs.  Save us.  I think of the wildfires, hurricanes, tornados, and flooding that ravage communities and cause tears to fall from our eyes.  Save us.  I think of how we live the line from Wicked, “There is a strange exhilaration in such loathing.”  And from Hamilton, “If we win our independence is that a guarantee of freedom for our descendants…or will the blood we shed begin an endless cycle of vengeance and death with no defendants?”  That line cuts right to the heart of this week.  Does Jesus, who is God’s love incarnate (in the flesh) cause us to repent of our violent and death dealing ways?  Does Jesus, God’s love incarnate who willingly/openly/vulnerably faces the cross – death – cause us to question how we still scapegoat (that is blame and shame those people)?   Save us.  Because the gospel of the news cycle says that we continue to yell and proclaim that someone else is the problem, so we can stay comfortable in our status quo.  Jesus’ death put to death the notion that we can kill our way to peace.  And yet wars persist in the Ukraine and the Middle East and the Sudan and right here in our own country where we are unable or unwilling to love our neighbor.  After Jesus served a meal to the very people who would deny and desert and betray him ~ wait…you missed that.  Go back and read how Jesus’ love was served to the very people he broke open his whole life and shared God’s unconditional love unceasingly with – then they ran out the door.  After the meal Matthew tells us:

 

Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee and began to be grieved and agitated. Then he said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and stay awake with me.” And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed, “Abba, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me, yet not what I want but what you want.” Then he came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and he said to Peter, “So, could you not stay awake with me one hour? Stay awake and pray that you may not come into the time of trial; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again he went away for the second time and prayed, “Abba, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” Again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words. Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? Now the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Get up, let us be going. Look, my betrayer is at hand.”

 

Where do you passionately pray for a cup to pass in your life?  Where is your soul deeply grieved because part of you is dying?  Where are we being lulled to sleep by constantly clicking on the next news story or having the 24-hour news cycle blaring in the background ~ not realizing what that is doing to your brain/heart/life?  Where are we asleep to those who hurt?  Where are we asleep to our own life?  And where right now do we feel betrayed or are we betraying another?  Let these questions meet you in your vulnerability and move us all deeper into prayer this week.

Preparing for Holy Week Part 5

 

While they were eating, Jesus took a loaf of bread, and after blessing it he broke it, gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and after giving thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.  I tell you, I will never again drink of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in God’s realm kingdom.”  When they had sung the hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.  Matthew 26:26-30

 

Sing, pray, with me: Let us break bread together on our knees.  Let us break bread together on our knees.  When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising sun, O God, have mercy on me. 

 

Pray, with me the Hosannas of life you are carry this week.

 

Pray, with me the brokenness of a bread.  Jesus broke open his life in love through stories and song, healing and helping, laughter and listening.  Jesus broke open his life, like that loaf of bread, to his friends.  Jesus broke open his life for you and for me and for we.

 

Pray with me God who blesses the brokenness.

 

Pray with me God who declares in love brokenness, even the hurt and heartbreak right now, is not the last word.

 

Drink with me a cup of sweet juice that reminds us of God’s presence.

 

Drink with me a hope that comes not from human ingenuity but God’s creativity.

 

Drink with me a sung of praise and prayer we need now more than ever.

 

Stay with me, abide here with me, watch and pray as the One who is here both when laughter comes easy and love hovers in the air, God is there in the suffering and struggle and crosses of life that all of us know and need to pray, “Hosanna” more than ever.  Amen.  

Preparing for Holy Week Part 4

 

When it was evening, he took his place with the twelve disciples, and while they were eating he said, “Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me.”  And they became greatly distressed and began to say to him one after another, “Surely not I, Lord?” He answered, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that one by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that one not to have been born.”  Judas, who betrayed him, said, “Surely not I, Rabbi?” He replied, “You have said so.”  Matthew 26:20-25

 

Surely, not I, Rabbi…how many times have I said to Jesus that I won’t deny or desert or betray him?  How many times do I think I have my faith all figured out, neat and tidy and orderly, only to stumble on a curb of life that sends all the papers of faith flying chaotically and getting caught in the wind blowing in every direction. 

 

And yet, Judas had a place at the table.

And yet, Peter, Mr. Denial himself, had a place at the table.

And yet, all the other disciples who left skid marks in the sand as they ran away in fear, had a place at the table.

You and I have a place at the table.

Your enemy has a place at the table, so said 23^rd Psalm.

Your friends have a place at the table.

Creation has a place at the table.

Singing and silence have a place at the table.

Hope has a place at the table.  Hope, by the way, is that glimmer glimpse of God’s realm.

Lament has a place at the table. Lament, by the way, is the reality reminder that we/world are not the “we/world we long to be or God created us to be.

Love has a place at the table, because only love can help heal and reconcile ~ eye-for-eye justice will never really help even as we cling so tight to that way our knuckles turn white.

Joy has a place at the table, especially among the tears of things.

Justice has a place at the table, though it rarely looks or sounds like what we think it should, because we are not God…and God vulnerably faces the cross still today.

Silence has a place at the table, because no matter how many words I try to use to describe this expansive and evolving table, it is always elusive.

 

So pull up a chair, take a hunk of bread, drip it until it is drenched with juice.  Eat and taste God’s unconditional love and unceasing grace.  Eat and taste who you are ~ the body of Christ with others and all creation.  Seriously, lets celebrate communion right now together in preparation for Maundy Thursday a week from today.  Go get bread and juice or a donut and coffee or a cookie and milk or a biscuit and tea ~ something stable and a liquid that meet in a meaningful way to remind you of how Grace soaks our lives.  May God’s peace and presence give your heart rest this day and meet you in the “Hosannas” you pray.  Amen.

Preparing for Holy Week Part 3

 

On the first day of Unleavened Bread the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Where do you want us to make the preparations for you to eat the Passover?”  He said, “Go into the city to a certain man and say to him, ‘The Teacher says, My time is near; I will keep the Passover at your house with my disciples.’ ” So the disciples did as Jesus had directed them, and they prepared the Passover meal.  Matthew 26:17-19

 

What is nourishing your life right now?  What is filling your soul?  Or, put another way, what is the story (or stories) you are you telling yourself about yourself?  You maybe be telling a story about how awesome and amazing you are and just keep getting more astonishing!  You maybe be telling a story about what schmuck you are because you stumble and bumble your way through life, and you should be so much further along by now (as compared to what?  You have never been this age before living at this exact moment, who is to say what is really “living the dream”?).  You may not realize what story you are telling yourself about yourself, because it is on autopilot, just beneath the unconscious. 

 

The story you tell about yourself is the table you welcome others to feast at.  You offer a meal of words to others.  Part of the reason why I write these meditations in the morning is to set a table for you, to offer you a heaping helping of grace upon grace, to remind you of the spaciousness of the sacred where there is plenty of room for your one wild and precious and messy life.  Prepare a place, Jesus said.  And Jesus still says to you and me.  Prepare a place.  Don’t worry, you don’t have to get out the fancy plates, unless you want to.  You don’t have to make a rack of lamb, Jesus is happy with leftovers, crackers and Cheez Whiz (yes, that was the second reference to this marvel of human ingenuity this week ~ way to pay attention!).  You don’t have to have all the dust bunnies in the corners of your house OR soul wiped away.  Be you, with your “Hosannas” and humanness and belovedness. 

 

Take a deep breath and slowly exhale.  Look around your life to see what is there, the place Jesus is entering right now to rest and reside as we inch closer to our holiest week. Amen.