Friends

Acts 13

When you saw the blog title for today, did some names and faces fluttered through your mind?  Who are the people who bring the word 'friend' to life for you?

Usually our friends are people who we can count on, trust, be honest with, and are there for us when we need them most.  Friends are the people who are a walking embodiment of the word, 'love'.  Yet, on the other hand, words often fail to fully capture or describe what a 'friend' means to us.

Barnabas and Saul were friends.

Barnabas in chapter 9:27  is the one who comes to Saul's defense.  Barnabas lends his credibility as a disciple to Saul, essentially saying "I will take responsibility for this person who once tried to round up early followers of Jesus like some vigilante.  I trust that his conversion is credible."  It is a huge risk for Barnabas.  It is incredibly vulnerable for them both.

Which are also attributes of friends, right?  They take risks for us.  They will drive all night to come and hold our hands when we are grieving.  They are also people who know us so well precisely because they have been through the ups and downs with us.  Such vulnerability is good.  We need people like that.  The ability to be vulnerable is one of the key pillars of people we are closest to and we need people in our life who we can practice being vulnerable with.

But it takes a lot of trust.  Because within our lives we also have moments when we were vulnerable, when we trusted, and when we got hurt.  The person talked behind our back spilling a secret we thought was safe.  That is painful.

And within the book of Acts there is also the broken relationship of Paul and Barnabas.  In 15:36-43, eight short verses tell us that Saul (now Paul) and Barnabas get in such a heated argument and exchange about whether they should take another disciple called, John Mark, with them, that they decide to part company...dissolve the partnership...stop being co-missionaries for the early church. 

Ouch. 

After six chapters (more or less) of friendship and doing amazing ministry, they part ways because of another person.  In systems theory this is called triangulating.  When two peoples relationship is impacted by a third.  In my experience it is called life.

We get jealous when a duet becomes a trio.  We have cliches like, "being a third wheel" or "butting in" talking around the emotions we feel in these situations.

We just had new members join the church I serve on Sunday.  I think joining a church is one of the hardest parts of the Christian journey, second only to the first time you visit the church.  When you join a church it is hard to shake that feeling like there are all these sorts of inside jokes and processes that you know nothing about.  You feel this excitement to be part of a community, but yet still don't feel fully included.  It takes time.

Of course, so does forming friendship...unless you are my daughter who is instant BFFs with every girl she meets.  But lasting friendships need to withstand the test of time.  Is this person really going to be there for me?  Can I really trust this person with that secret?

You often hear people come out on the other side of a tragic event say something like, "Well, I now know who my true friends are."

As you think about your friends, the people who you count on and people whose love supports/sustains/strengthens you, I encourage you to give thanks to God for people like this...and maybe give that person a call tonight.  I know I will.

blessings and peace!